I know what you're thinking: fucking sweet.
But they didn't spend the money on 200,000 lapdances, or even 50,000 trips to the "Boom Boom Room." They bought the whole damned place.
I know, you're still thinking: fucking SWEET.
Yeah, they bought it to shut it down.
The town of Lavonia could have used nearly $1 million to pay off the bond fund for a water treatment plant upgrade. Instead, officials bought Cafe Risque, which they have long tried to shut down.
I love that even the guy reporting on this for MSNBC thinks these people are fucking retarded. But seriously, a small town in Georgia somehow gets their hands on $1 million (maybe Lil Jon was visiting and forgot his wallet in the hotel or something), and they take a look at all their options for spending the money:
1. Pay off Bond Fund for Water Treatment Plant Upgrade
2. Build new High School sports center for the kiddies
3. Pay for experts to come in and deal with Giant "Baby Stealer" Rat infestation
4. Get rid of the town nudey bar
Lavonia's mayor got a standing ovation when he announced the deal at a meeting earlier this week. Crews took down the signs advertising it and burned them in a large bonfire at the strip club site, near a major highway.
Oh the backwoodsy-ness of it all. Of course these southern fried hicks were going to work a bonfire into the mix somehow. And, less noticeable in the quote is the fact that the strip club was near a major highway, AKA nowhere near the actual podunk bumblefuck backwards ass darky hatin' (assumedly) town that spent a cool milli to get rid of it.
Oh, and to the quilt club attending, no-sex having dried up old Vajayjays who annoyed the shit out of the mayor until he coughed up a million dollars to close down this strip club: he wouldn't have had to do shit if your beer swilling husbands weren't spending 75% of their paycheck from their gig repairin' Mack Trucks on lap dances from Minny, the 57 year old stripper who, until recently, worked at the Cafe Risque.
Sorry...I have a headache this morning and this article just pissed me off so...yeah. I'm gonna go poop now.