Michigan authorities say a shoplifting suspect died after being crushed in a trash compactor where she was hiding.
The Eaton County sheriff's department said two women fled a Lansing-area TJ Maxx discount store after spraying a security guard with Mace.
Yeesh...at least they she could've died trying to hold up a bank or something...a TJ Maxx hold-up isn't exactly something where you're like, "we may not make it out of this alive." Oh, and
WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY DOING HOLDING UP A TJ MAXX DISCOUNT STORE?
Really? Is the $17.25 they have in the register really worth risking jailtime, or worse...karmic death by trash compactor?
So there were two ladies involved in this stick-up, one who was immediately found hiding behind the trash compactor. Heh, everyone probably thought she was the stupid one...for a few minutes.
Shortly afterward, authorities got a call about a woman trapped in the trash compactor.
Uh, yeah hello, 9-1-1? Um, yeah, either a rat has learned English or there's a lady trapped in our trash compactor. Did we turn what off? Oh, the trash compactor? No. Heh, that woulda been pretty smart, huh? What? Oh, I work here at the TJ Maxx. What do you mean, "that makes sense?"