Mother Goose is Spinning in her Grave (Yea that's right boys and girls SHE'S DEAD)

I came across this headline on MSNBC.com's entertainment page, and I felt the need to ridicule and humiliate the subject as if I were a high school bully pulling the towel off of a fellow student in the locker room and then pushing him out the door into the crowded hallway.

I hate you forever, Bobby Flannery. Now, where was I? Ah, yes:

Will Jamie Lynn's fairy tale end in tears?

Maybe it's just me, but when I think "fairy tale," this isn't what comes to mind:

The reception was held at Shotgun Geniez Titty Bar...Tammy said it was weird to be celebrating at her workplace, but still a magical time.

As Britney Spears’ world continues to improve, her little sister, Jamie Lynn, continues to battle rumors about difficulties with fiancé Casey Aldridge.

I'm sorry, didn't Britney just lose her kids...to KEVIN FUCKING FEDERLINE? How is that improvement?!? I mean, I guess that means she can freebase naked on the toilet for hours and not have to worry about her kids wandering in on her. So, that's good I guess.

“Although it’s not something Jamie Lynn is discussing, we all have our doubts that their relationship is solid."

Well. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Some piece of country-fried white trash knocks up Britney Spears' 16 year old sister and then gets engaged to her, and there are doubts that their relationship is "solid?"

It makes you feel like love doesn't even exist.

"Definitely if not for (two-month-old daughter) Maddie, Jamie Lynn would have had enough of the stress of this relationship by now.”

NO FUCKIN' DOY, DOUCHEBAG!

To be fair, the individual quoted is believed to be Southern.

“We all really do hope this (relationship) can turn out well, that it can be the fairy tale Jamie Lynn wants.”

Can we stop calling this a fairy tale?!? I mean, regular 16 year old girls who get knocked up don't get to use this excuse!

But mama, it's LOVE!!! That condom breakin' was God's way a'sayin' we're MEANT fer each other! This here's my DREAM, mama...plus, lookit the palace he built fer us an' little Cletus!