Kenneth Chris Oneal, 58, received the maximum sentence Thursday after jurors convicted him of driving while intoxicated-repetition, his 10th drunken-driving related offense.
The offense was a felony because he had at least two such convictions in the past, prosecutors said.
Makes sense. Except wasn't this the seventh fucking time that he had "at least two such convictions?" Like really, times 7, 8, and 9 everyone was like "oh, Idunno. I'll bet he doesn't do it again. Seems like a nice guy." Fuckin' Texans.
Ben Hoover, lead prosecutor in the case, said Oneal also had previously been convicted of assault and failure to stop and render aid.
I'm not sure on that last one. Something tells me that if I'm in an accident in Witchita, Texas:
1. God have mercy on my Left-Wing Hip Hop lovin' soul
2. I don't want someone with 10 DWI's stopping to assist me with anything other than directions to the nearest Brew-Thru.
"The jury handed down a big sentence, but it was a just sentence," Hoover said. "The jury apparently took this offense seriously and wanted to send a message that a multiple-DWI offender was not going to be allowed back on the roads of Wichita County."
Way to send that message, Witchita! If you're thinking about getting caught driving drunk and endangering the lives of everyone around you 11 times you've got another think coming!!!
Mr. Oneal would have been up for the death penalty, but the judge decided to take it off the table upon learning that Oneal wasn't actually retarded, just a Texan.