Laugh. Play. Grow...Smoke...Titties...

I'd just like to clarify that in the title I wasn't slowly suggesting you "grow smoke titties," whatever those are, I just needed to fit in weed and boobies into the pre-existing tagline for the Fisher-Price Corporation. I'm a bit burnt out from grav-bonging last night, so that's the best I could come up with...now why the hell am I here? Oh yeah, that's right...

A West Virginia mother is seeking a recall of a popular walkie-talkie after her 3-year-old’s toy apparently intercepted a profanity-laced conversation between truckers about drugs and strip clubs.

Hehehehe rad...dramatic re-enactment, anyone?

Hewwo?? Who dere?!? Wanna play army men!!!

Who da fuck is dis? Paulie, is dat you, you sloppy little cawksucka?? What did you smoke summa dat bright green shit wit da red hayhs on em? Dat shit's da fuckin BAWMB!!!

Um...Hewwo?

Hey FAHK YOU BUDDY!!! You polesmokin' fag-douche!!! YOU ah da fahkin' cawsucka, buddy! Rememba dat time we was at Shotgun Geniez and I was motorboatin' that 17 year-old and you was growin' a pussy, bein' all, "oh dat bitch said she was da sheriff's daughta" and all dat pussy fag cawk douche fag bitch pussy-ass fag douche cawk shit. Faggit!

Um...

FAHK YOU!!!

FAHK YOU CAWKSUCKA!!!

Billy! What in goodness's name is going ON in here???

Fahk yoo, cawksucka!

WHAT!?!?!?!?

AHAHAHAHAA! You tell dat bitch what's what!!!

“They said we should go smoke some weed, and were talking about being in a strip bar, some really explicit things,” Pancaro said Thursday.

I like my version better.

The walkie-talkie is supposed to have a range of about 20 feet, but Pancaro said she heard one of the voices say he was driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, about 275 miles north of Huntington.

Are you KIDDING me?!? That's fucking sweet! Although, to be fair, Fisher-Price does list the walkie-talkie's coverage range as being between "20 - 1,452,000 feet."

The walkie-talkie is sold exclusively at Wal-Mart and allows children to role-play animal rescues like the Diego character does on the cartoon series “Dora the Explorer” and “Go, Diego, Go!”

Wow, that's pretty specific. I wonder if there's a notice on box:

WARNING: for role-playing animal rescue games ONLY. Please do not attempt to role-play any other children's games, such as Army Men or Stoned Truckers Planning Next Trip to the Titty Bar.


*Special thanks to Jane Kaczmarek for here appearance as "angered mother"