Sea Monster Wins Gold

Grrrr I am really unlikeable!!!

World record holder Alain Bernard declared on Aug. 7 that he was the favorite for the 100-meter freestyle and that his French relay squad would "smash" the Americans.

I guess I'd be a prick too if I were the result of a turtle raping my mother. Forreal, have you EVER seen anything (not anybody, mind you, anything) uglier in your entire life?

The U.S. relay team (comprised of Phelps, Jason Lezak, Cullen Jones and Garrett Weber-Gale) won the relay in a world-record setting 3:08.24. Lezak, who was the final swimmer for the Americans, barely edged out the smack-talking Bernard for the gold.

I know that's old news by now, but I have this fantasy of Alaine (oh, by the way pal, I know there's cultural differences and whatever, but you have a BITCH'S name) googling himself and finally ending up here, on my site. And he has to read about his squad's embarassment one more time directly after translating the phrase "turtle raping my mother" into French.

Suck on it,Pepẻ.