Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Priest Sets Up Beauty Pageant for Nuns: Everyone Loses - UPDATE!!!

'Miss Sister 2008' will show that nuns aren't all old and dour.

An Italian priest and theologian said Sunday he is organizing an online beauty pageant for nuns to give them more visibility within the Catholic Church and to fight the stereotype that they are all old and dour.

As someone who went to Catholic school from age 5 to age 23, I think can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that all nuns are both old, and dour. Also, more visibility within the church? What does that even mean? Every nun I've met taught at the school and didn't seem to do much else. They don't let women become priests so it's not like they're saying mass or something. And I think we all know that any even remotely attractive lady thinking of becoming a nun leaves the convent to find better things to do, like teach a family how to love.

The "Miss Sister 2008" contest will start in September on a blog run by the Rev. Antonio Rungi and will give nuns from around the world a chance to showcase their work and their image.

I find it pretty hilarious that this priest has a godblog. And that the first thing he's doing on it is putting up pictures of babes. Rock on reverend.

"Nuns are a bit excluded, they are a bit marginalized in ecclesiastical life," Rungi told The Associated Press after Italian media carried reports of the idea. "This will be an occasion to make their contribution more visible."

So their contribution is... being good looking? I'm not really sure I understand. Is it going to be pictures of nuns in bikinis feeding the homeless? You know Nuns used to have to take a mans name when they became Nuns? Sister John Thomas. They only recently changed it. This was not because they were getting grade-A tail applying for nunships.

"We are not going to parade nuns in bathing suits," Rungi said by telephone from his town of Mondragone. "But being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. External beauty is gift from God, and we mustn't hide it."

Oh. But so then what will they be wearing? External beauty is a gift from God, which is why only the ugly nuns wear habits. I'd like to think there is a memo somewhere with the list of requirements for becoming a nun. 1. Must be a lady. 2. Must really love God. Like more than a friend. 3. Preferably ugly, though not required.

Rungi said the idea was first suggested to him by nuns with whom he regularly prays and works. He hopes there will be dozens of submissions once the Web site is started.

"...through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen." "That was a great prayer Tony, by the way, don't you think people on the internet would want to see me and maybe some of my friends wearing something revealing?" "Dear God. Yes."

The contest drew criticism from the association of Catholic teachers.

Can't imagine what objections they'd have to this clearly well thought out and genius plan...

"It's an initiative that belittles the role of nuns who have dedicated themselves to God," the group's president, Alberto Giannino, told Italy's ANSA news agency on Sunday.

I don't really see how it belittles them, as long as the website is rolled out with a calendar of priests dressed as firemen - equality people. Equality.

Hey look, I went this whole post without making a joke about touching little kids! That shits too easy, I'm too clever for that. Besides, I'm still all warped and shit from when I was molested as an altar boy. In his defense, I spent most of seventh grade dressing like a goddamn slut and was practically begging for it.


An Italian priest, who had planned an online "pageant" for nuns, has suspended the project, saying he was misinterpreted and had no intention of putting sisters on a beauty catwalk.

Nope, he just wanted them to submit pictures of themselves on the internet, which could only go super well with no chance of backfiring or causing problems!

"My superiors were not happy. The local bishop was not happy, but they did not understand me either," Father Antonio Rungi told Reuters by telephone from his convent in southern Italy on Tuesday.

Of course he's not pointing out that the possible reason they didn't understand him is because the idea made zero sense and was idiotic from the get-go, but maybe he'll clarify...

"It was not at all my intention to put nuns on the catwalk," said Rungi, a priest of the Passionists religious order, speaking from his convent in the town of Mondragone.

Oh, ok great. Now that you've repeatedly stated what you didn't want to do, any chance of you telling us exactly what you did want to do then? No? Awesome.

Rungi, a theologian and schoolteacher from the Naples area, wrote in his blog that his intention was to show "the interior beauty" of a nun and the work she does for the Church and for society, mostly in education and health care.

So you see, what he wanted was for people to vote on which nun's physical picture made you think "interior beauty model". He even had a slogan for the website all ready to go: Go online and vote for the lady who makes you go "Oooooh an she helpin the poor all sexy-like...on the inside"

"We have to draw more attention to the world of nuns, who are often not sufficiently appreciated by society," he wrote, adding that he had hoped his initiative would help boost sagging vocations to religious lie.

I can only assume that that should read life and is [sic], or maybe msnbc is subtly being anti-christian. Bill Donahue where are you?! Either way it made me chuckle.


  1. the actual story behind it is they canceled it after the priest recieved a QuickTime file entitled "2 Nuns 1 Cup"

  2. I had heard they cancelled it after numerous pictures submitted by "Sister Fister"