Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Dr. Pemulis's Good-Time Family Subway Solution: Dancers!

And no, I do not mean subway dancers like this:



I'm talking about a much more narcissistic type of subway dancer. The subway dancer I want to discuss with you today, dear reader, is the subway dancer who has headphones on and stares dreamily at their reflected surface on the door windows.

The dancer in question today was an older gentleman with slicked back hair in a partytail. He was bobbing his head up and down to what had to have been some kickin' hip hop (this particular type of dance/head-bob would seem quite out of place set to jazz fusion or the original cast recording of rent). And he stared at himself the entire 15 minutes I was on the train. I imagine he was envisioning himself as a mega rap star, surrounded by hot babes in leather bikinis. Did I mention this gentleman was wearing shorts and a looney toons t-shirt?

Anyway, my question is: what compels someone to do this? I personally was brought up with a sense of shame, and know that doing something so completely vain is something not socially acceptable, and will end with me feeling like a total asshole. Does this guy and every other person that does this not notice the other 50 people in the subway car, looking at them and trying not to laugh? Don't you have to know that everyone who looks at you is wondering what kind of stupid fucking moron you are?

If you or someone you know is one of these complete fuck-wits and would like to shed some light on the issue, please feel free to email me and explain.

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