Monday, August 25, 2008

School District Allows Teachers to Carry Guns. Guess Which State?

In the latest challenge to the rest of the world's taint-brained idiots, Texas, the state that gave us Hold 'Em Poker and killing retards, just stepped it up a notch.

In an effort to protect against gun violence, a small Texas school district has decided to flood their schools with firearms. Ow, fuck!

Sorry. That just left my brain butt-hurt.

School experts backed [David "Complete Fucking Dumbass"] Thweatt's claim that Harrold, a system of about 110 students 150 miles northwest of Fort Worth, may be the first to let teachers bring guns to the classroom.
A few items:
  1. Kill yourself with a blunt object, David Thweatt. Or you can use a gun...there's now one available in EVERY CLASSROOM.
  2. Of fucking COURSE you're the first ones to do this, it's a FUCKTARDED idea. If you were to allow teacher/student dating at your elementary school , you'd have another "first." Doesn't mean it's "pioneering."
  3. There are 110 students in the system. Not in a school. Not in a grade. From Pre-K to 12th (like Texans even need a 12th grade, but whatevs, it's there) there are one hundred and ten students. Are you really afraid one of the 3 kids in your 8th grade math class is going to go on a massacre?
  4. If I were an 8th grade math student who wanted to go on a massacre, a good place to do it would be this district, 'cause there's already a FUCKING GUN AVAILABLE IN EVERY CLASSROOM.
It's terrible that I'm giddily anticipating this, but I almost can't WAIT until a 9 year is blown away by his slack-jawed gym teacher for "runnin' at me all menacin'-like." Seriously, present me with a scenario where arming Texan teachers with semi-autos in a tiny backwoods-ass school district produces a positive outcome and you win a prize.
"We have a lock-down situation, we have cameras, but the question we had to answer is, 'What if somebody gets in? What are we going to do?" he said. "It's just common sense."
What...if..."someone"...gets in? How the fuck is that a question you "had" to answer?
HEY QUEEF-FOR-BRAINS, THERE'S 110 STUDENTS IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING DISTRICT, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU'VE EVEN SEEN A STRANGER YOU COW TIPPING SISTER FUCKING BUMPED-YOUR-HEAD-DIVING-INTO-THE-SHALLOW-END-OF-THE-GENE-POOL CUD FUCKERS???

There hasn't been, to my knowledge, one single fucking instance in the history of this nation where some random dude(s) ran up into a school and shot people for the fuck of it. It's approximately 10,000,000,000,000.001% more likely to be someone from the inside, like a student...or a recently armed teacher.

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