So I've moved offices. This means I now have an extra 20 minutes added to my commute - each way! Fucking sweet! Anyway, this means I get to sit on the subway every day instead of walking from Grand Central. This means more hilarity for you, the reader! How fucking pumped are you?! I can smell your collective boner from here! Anyway, every day I'll be posing an important question that comes to me from an observation made on the subway. Let's kick this bitch off!!!
So on the train this morning, riding on the subway, I see this couple get on at Penn Station. The gentlemen of the couple was a normal looking guy. Thin, fit, seemingly quite normal. The woman, however, was about the size of a Martha Dumptruck. She literally took up one and 2/3rds of a seat on the train. Anyway, they were looking at a map at one point, they might have been foreign - I would have listened to them speak, but I assumed she would sound like a Hutt. Mainly I was listening to The Tallest Man on Earth and it fucking rocked and I didn't want to stop listening to it. But so each one of her thighs was about as big and wide as my entire body.
Aside from wondering why the guy was with her (fat girls give good head? he's a eunuch? he's the most charitable guy alive?) , the question that came to me, that I probably should have asked them is as follows: When they're going at it, does he ever accidentally grab a stomach roll, thinking he's grabbed a can? And if he does, does she correct him, or does she just go with it hoping he doesn't notice? And if he does notice, what does he do? If they both kind of make knowing eye contact - whom is more embarrassed?
If you have any insight into this situation (if you or someone you know is a fat person), please email me and let me know.