Tuesday, September 30, 2008

You Can't Arrest Me! I Just Want to Hug It Out Bro!

Bro. Dude. Come on dude. Bro, don't arrest me. Come on dude. Brah. Dude looked like he needed a hug. Come on bro. Let's just hug it out, do a couple jager bombs and forget this shit bro.

A hug has landed an Iowa City man in hot water. An Iowa City man who thought a police officer just "needed a hug" faces several charges including assault on a peace officer and public intoxication.

Dude I was fucking shithoused bro! Cop was being gay and I told him he needed a hug and shit. It was awesome! Dude was all "get away" and I was like "Come on Officer Needsahug, get that shit out. Don't be such a homo and just fucking hug a bro." Dude I was soooo wasted. Officer O'Nofun was not having any of that shit bro.

Police said a 21-year-old man was arrested on Saturday. According to police records, the man ran up to the officer and stuck out his arms.

Yea, I ran up to the dude because he was looking fucking lonely bro! Yes I was fucking super twisted on fucking vodka sodas and some serious jager bombing, but bro was fuckin' dying for a little bro-love. I stuck out my arms in bro-salutation style Holmes! I didn't know they added to their motto and made it To Protect and Serve and be a Fucking Dick bro.

When the officer told the man to put his hands behind his head, he refused. He was then handcuffed.

I refused to put my hands behind my head because it was Hug It Out time bro! Fucking Officer McGayballs was being a total shitfuck. What are they going to charge me with, being an awesome dude? Because fucking guilty as motherfucking charged, son! Also can I get my one phone call? My mom is going to be like so fucking pissed at me.

1 comment:

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