Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Pelf-a-Mania

The following bloggery is in reference to the Mets - Marlins contest on the date of August the 30th, 2008 year of Our Lord. I know it's a bit late in its arrival, but fuck you, I don't blog on Saturdays.
WARNING: This post may be amusing to myself and Pemulis only. And possibly 7-9 year olds. And definitely retards. They'll LOVE this shit...anyone else, read at your own discretion.

The following is a presentation of the WWF...from back in the 80's when times were simpler, and balls were smaller.

Mean Gene: Hello everyone, I'm "Mean" Gene Okerlund, and we're coming to you LIVE from Miller Park in Milwaukee, Wisconsin! Without wasting any time, let's get right to it: there's been a grudge a'brewing since this past Saturday that may rise to "barn-burner" proportions! A real slobberknocker, if you will! Haymaker! Um...uh....intestinal fortitude! NOW, please help me introduce one of the men involved in this new bru-ha-ha,

Big Motherfuckin' PELF HOOOOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

Entrance music, fireworks, midgets

THANKS MEAN GEEEEEEEEEEEENE!
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLISTEN, BROTHER! I GOTTA TELL YA, THE PELFSTER, IS MAD, HE'S ANGRY, HE'S...
OTHER SYNONYMS FOR MAD, BROTHER!

"Mean" Gene: Well what-in-the-world has got you this worked up Pelfster?

Pelfster: LLLLLLLLLISTEN BRRROTHER!!! The Pelfster was just doing his thing, right? Sayin' his prayers, eating his vitamins, painting his corners, RIGHT GEEENE?!? When all of a sudden, some no good, non prayer sayin', no vitamin takin' DUUUUUUDE tries to ruin the BMFP's fun!

"Mean" Gene: BMFP?

Pelfster: BIIIIIG MOTHERRRRR FUCKIN PELF, GENE!

"Mean" Gene: I see. Well I've gotta ask ya, where's -- Wait just a minute, it's it's--

It's Cody "Iron" Ross and his manager Classy Freddy Blassy!!!...er...via satellite.

Iron Ross: Mahkaamallupppadladukka Mahahajomimbonako Blaghghghadkecchdecsh!

Freddy Blassy: That loosely translates to "fuck you Pelfster."

Pelfster: Nah, fuck YOUUUUUUUUU, BRRRRRRRRRRROTHER! You wanna come around and act all bitchy just 'cause I hit your little elbow armor thingy while you were tryin' to get up in my Kool-Aid!?!? NNNNNNNNNNNO ONE GETS UP IN THE PELFSTER'S KOOL-AID, BROTHER!

Freddy Blassy: Listen, Pelfster--

Pelfster: No, YYYYYYYYYOU LISTEN, BRRRRRRRROTHER!!!

Freddy Blassy: ...yes?

Pelfster: Um...sorry. I...I actually don't have anything to say. Habit. Sorry. You were saying?

Freddy Blassy: I, uh...I um...Damnit, I lost my train of thought!

Pelfster: Sorry, brother.

Iron Ross: Pleaghbedashkia Mooshoomooshomooshoommommy!!! (positions roughly 124 people in between himself and Pelfster) Wan do fight!!!

Pelfster: You're old news, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROTHER! The Pelfster's got more important things on his mind, Like phightin' off those Philly Phag-boys! Especially that coconut Shane "Superfly" Victorino!!!! Philly, WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN PELF-A-MANIA RUNS WILD ON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"Mean" Gene: Big words from the Big Motherfuckin' P--oh my GOODNESS! From outta NOWHERE!

Superfly: Pnumanumakuaapuaapao!

Pelfster: Phuckin' Phoreigners.

3 comments:

  1. They were photoshopped?!?

    also fuck that jim norton looking motherfucker. Pelf eats pieces of shit like him for breakfast

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pelf eats pieces of shit for breakfast?

    ReplyDelete