Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I Now Pronounce You...Really F*cked Up.

Jason and Rachael Storm (no relation) decided they were going to have a "different" type of wedding. They wanted to have it somewhere cozy, somewhere intimate, somewhere familiar...somewhere frequented by lots and lots of corpses all the time.

Jason and Rachael Storm held their wedding at Starks and Menchinger Family Funeral Home, where he is a funeral director.Their reception, including dinner and dancing, also was held at the funeral home.

"Honeymoon Suite"

I'm just going to take a second to bask in the fantasticality that is a bunch of people dancing to "Woomp, There It Is" in the same room they said their final good-byes to Aunt Fanny about a year ago.

Aaaaaaah...

Ok. Where were we?

"This room is usually filled with sadness and contemplation, but today it is filled with joy and celebration," the Rev. Greg Prather said at the start of Saturday's ceremony.

Rev. Prather quickly followed that sentiment up with a sigh, a shake of the head, a questioning "why me" look upwards towards God, another sigh, another shake of the head (this one aimed directly at the bride and groom), a frown, another sigh, a shrug of the shoulders, and a final sigh.

Jason Storm, 24, doesn't see much difference between getting married in a church or the funeral home. "I look at it as, if you go to a church and get married, how many caskets do you think have been rolled down that aisle?" he told The Herald-Palladium of St. Joseph.

Great point there, Vincent Price. I just picture him looking for a high five from someone right after that quote...only to be disappointed that the corpses surrounding him left him hanging.

Rachael Storm, also 24, said the location did "not creep me out at all."

Well, I'm convinced! That definitely sounds like someone who isn't forcing herself to accept the fact that her hubby didn't want to leave his house of death for even one day.

Hi, Mrs. Storm, this is Brent Cocklog from the Herald-Palladium...what are your feelings on the Fun-o-wedding? Or the "wederal." Not sure which one I'm going with yet...

"It doesn't creep me out at all!"

Well, that's good because for some people--

"I said it's FINE, now BACK OFF!"

Ok, Miss, I didn't mean to off--

"MY HUSBAND'S NOT CRAZY!!! HE JUST HAPPENS TO LIKE THE DEAD MORE THAN THE LIVING! TOTALLY HEALTHY!!!"

...

"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!"

Um...this is Brent Cocklog, coming to you live...from the site of a doomed marriage. Back to you, Kent!

Rachael Storm said some invited guests initially refused to attend, but the couple assured family and friends there would not be any caskets or corpses in the room.

...at least not 'til the reception. You know the old saying, "can't keep a corpse from a good cold-cuts buffet!"

1 comment:

  1. i'm looking forward to reading brent cocklogs cockblog

    ReplyDelete