Thursday, September 18, 2008

Alright Everyone, Just Stay Calm, This is a Robbe--AWWWWWW GOD STOP HITTING ME!!!

Every once in a while, we here at the 'Mauf like to sprinkle in a little education along with our endless entertainment.

Today's lesson: How not to get your dumb ass beat whilst robbin' up a joint.

Simply put: Avoid Forest Park, Georgia.

A group of robbery victims fought back against an armed man Tuesday, sending him first to the hospital and then to jail.

This is Shawn Henderson, the robber-turned-ass-whoopin-recipient in question. His hair is very pretty. You know who else had pretty hair like that?

BERBALERBS ASPIRING CRIMINAL HOT TIP #1: If you resemble members of an androgynous Pop Music act from the 90's, you should consider not robbing a ghetto ass rental store.

Police said Shawn Henderson, 21, pulled a gun on employees at the Aaron's Rent to Own at 4634 Jonesboro Rd. as the store was getting ready to open.
For the purpose of me having something to write about today, we're going to assume Aaron's Rent to Own is a ghetto-ass establishment.

Last Year's Company Picnic Photo

So he walks up in there like,

Shawn: Aight everyone, listen up! This here's a stickup! Everybody get your hands up!

DeSheenia: Oh no the hell he di'n't. It is 8:30 in the muh'fuckin' mornin' and I am NOT dealin' wif some broke n***a tryin' cause some shit dis early!


Ray-Ray: I heard you the first time, n***a, chill! Hey Tremaine, he ain't got back up, do he?

Tremaine: (checks out window) Nah. N***a a regular one man army up in here.

(Shawn removes mask)

Shawn: Guys, what the HELL? Don't you see I have a gun here? Now, everybody--

Ray Ray: PFFFFFFFFFTAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! N***a look like Milli Vanilli!

Shawn: What? No I don't!

Tremaine: OH SHIT he DO kinda look like Milli Vanilli!

Shawn: Guys--

Ray Ray: Ayo, do the dance, n***a, come on lemme see dat shit

Shawn: Guys, I'm not dancing--

Tremaine: (singing) "Girl you know it's TRUE! Ooo Ooo Ooo" Hahaha c'mon n***a do the dance!

Ray Ray: Yeah man, he's singin' for you an' errythang!

Shawn: I'm NOT dancing, now--

DeSheenia: (returning from smoking cigarette outside) Dis n***a still up in here? OH SNAP! You know who he look like?

Shawn: I do NOT look like Milli Vanilli!!!

DeSheenia: I was gon' say Shanaynay from "Martin," but YEAH, n***a do got dat Milli Vanilli vibe goin' on...

Shawn: Listen bitch, you better--

(DeSheenia tackles Shawn to the ground, begins to yell at him, accentuating each word with a punch to the face)

DeSheenia: (punching while talking) DON'T










Shawn: Why is this happening to me??? (coughs up blood)

Tremaine: Blame it on the rain, n***a.

After his release from the hospital police charged him with armed robbery, false imprisonment, kidnapping, possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, aggravated assault, carrying a pistol without a license, battery, and unlawfully wearing a mask or hood in public.

Ain't that a bitch.

Oh and hoods are illegal to wear in Georgia? Somebody tell these fuckos.

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