Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Last Dance For Grace Was Probably to 'Back Dat Ass Up'

Pop quiz hot shot. I'm a stripper/whore/escort/whatever. Let's say I get all hammered and then come to your place to party. Then I accuse you of rape. Then let's say it gets proven that I'm pretty much lying about the whole thing and can't keep my story straight and have one of the sketchiest DA's in the history of anything ever and all the charges are dropped. What do you do? What do you do?

A: shoot the hostage
Write a memoir avowing that you were, in fact, assaulted!

The woman who North Carolina prosecutors determined falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of raping her at a team party maintains in a new memoir that she was attacked.

Here's where I'll jump in to give you all the definition of
Libel : "defamation by written or printed words, pictures, or in any form other than by spoken words or gestures. " Literally cleared of all charges in a court of law, and she is releasing a book claiming they attacked her. Ooooh gurl, you are soooo sued.

Crystal Mangum, who appeared publicly Thursday for the first time since making the allegations more than two years ago, says in her forthcoming book she is not “looking forward to opening old wounds” but that she had to defend herself.

She also goes on to say she will continue to hunt for the real rapists, and plans on releasing a work of fiction next yea, titled "
If I Did It: Confessions of a Lying Whore." Good thing she's getting this book out to clear her name. Don't want people to get the wrong impression about her. So like for example don't read her wikipedia page. Well, at least don't read this part:

Mangum had been working part-time for about two months as an
escort and stripper for Allure Escort Service, and was also a 27-year-old student at North Carolina Central University. Before arriving at the party that day, she had consumed alcohol and Flexeril and had engaged in sexual intercourse with other clients.

Because that might paint her in a bad light. Also the part about how she and the other stripper got into a fight afterwards because she refused to leave the car, then continued to fight in some store, then she was taken to a mental hospital for evaluation, and only then made her first claim about rape. These things could maybe put a dent in her credibility.

“Even as I try to move on with my life, I still find it necessary to take one more stand and fight,” she writes in the book, “The Last Dance for Grace: The Crystal Mangum Story.”

Look. I get that the guys at the party were complete douchetasters. I think it's actually a prerequisite for college lacrosse teams. These fuckers look like they talk without moving their jaws. One of them even went to the same high school as me, and almost everyone that goes there is complete shitstain (myself excluded, obvi). Just look at them:

Nothing not douche-y about them. But come the fuck on lady, your shit was proven untrue in a court. And court's never botched anything ever. I say that unequivocally and without any sense of hyperbole. Also 1. Who the fuck is Grace and 2. I hope you get the irony of that book title, and the hilarity of the puns on it [see post title].

“I want to assert, without equivocation, that I was assaulted. Make of that what you will. You will decide what that means to you because the state of North Carolina saw fit not to look at all that happened the night I became infamous.”

Thanks, I will...right now! Here's what I make of it: You're trying to make money off your memoir and think that you will sell more copies by stirring up controversy. You will probably succeed, and you will probably still be remembered as the whore who maybe was treated, by complete asscocks, like a whore. I say that without equivocation. You became infamous not because you were raped (you weren't) but because you are an incredibly shitty liar. So fuck you and fuck your book. Obviously rape and sexual assault are awful, brutal and incredibly scarring things. I would normally just avoid this topic at all costs, but I think after everything that came to light in this trial, it became pretty clear that yes, the guys in question were probably pretty shitty people, but they in no way shape or form raped this woman, and you kind of royally fucked them, the way you claim they did to you.

An attorney who defended one of the players in the criminal case quickly denounced Mangum’s remarks, saying her allegation hurt the accused players, the state and all women who have been victims of sexual assault.

“If Crystal Mangum truly wants to heal, get on with her life and have others learn from her experiences, she would admit her lies and the damage they did,” Joseph Cheshire said in an e-mail. “The fact that she will not do that makes all of her motives and self-possessed desire to explain herself another lie. This is about money and lies. Pure and simple.”

Similar to my take on it, except less swearing. But still. Some major pwnage.

Mangum declined to answer specific questions about the details of the case on Thursday, and the publisher of the book said repeatedly “the case is closed” and she accepts the conclusions of state prosecutors.

Except no she fucking doesn't! Remember before when she unequivocally said she was assaulted? And if the publisher believed the case was closed, then why publish the fucking book? And no shit she isn't going to take questions. "How exactly were you assaulted?" "The case is closed. I accept the conclusions of the state prosecutors, but will say that I was definitely assaulted. On that day." "O...K?" But so what did she say, then?

“At this point, it doesn’t really matter,” she said Thursday. “What matters is for people to know my account of what happened and for all of us to learn from it.”

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!? At this point, what doesn't really matter? The case results? And for people to know what happened to you, hasn't it been pretty much proven that you're not exactly the best source to go to for information?

The state’s investigation found there was no DNA or medical evidence, or witness accounts, that confirmed Mangum’s story. The inconsistencies in Mangum’s account, the state found, “were so significant and so contrary to the evidence that the State had no credible evidence that an attack occurred in the house that night.”

So what I want to know is if her book can even be published as non-fiction. I also want to know how a lying whore is now a published author and I'm still toiling away on blogspot. Oh right! I haven't written anything. Or done anything. Or accomplished anything.

The Associated Press had not previously identified Mangum per its policy of not naming people who say they are victims of sexual assault, even after public statements clearing the players. The AP decided to name Mangum once she came out publicly on her own.

Please note the AP never waits to name the alleged rapists. So I guess what I'm saying is if you're ever arrested for a major crime of some sort, and you don't want your mom to find out, tell the coppers you're a rape victim and The AP won't be able to release your name. Hmmm... What would the AP's policy be if I raped myself? Would they asplode?

Mangum’s version of the alleged assault varied in the number of assailants, and whether she was ever assaulted at all. At one point, state prosecutors noted, she said that photos taken at the party that contradicted her story were altered.

The biggest change in her account came in December 2006, when Mangum told an investigator for former Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong that she could no longer be sure the attackers had raped her.

I'm sure the book clears all this up. In fact, in a Gallimaufry exclusive, here is the end of the book where she clears the air:

I maybe misremembered the whole rape thing. Whoops. Pobody's Nerfect! Anyway, I was assaulted. I was. Look here: "The act or an instance of unlawfully threatening or attempting to injure another. " Those fucking crackers were listening to motherfuckin' Hank Williams III. How the fuck am I supposed to dance to that shit? Obviously they were doing this with the intention that I fall down and hurt myself. And that's assault. Look, I know this whole things been heavy, so I'll end with a poignant joke. Two peanuts are walking down the street. One was assaulted.

Thanks Crystal!

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