Monday, October 20, 2008

You Can't Arrest Me! I'm a Wit-Cracking Prankster!

An 89-year-old Ohio woman faces a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children say she refused to give back their football.

Ok. So maybe it's not the most recent photo, sonny. But that's what you get when you live next to a merry jokester! Petty theft? Why if I face any charged it should be light-hearted buffoonery at its finest! Where's my purple heart, you bastards.

Edna [the] Jester was placed under arrest last week and taken to the police station in the Cincinnati suburb of Blue Ash. Police say there had been an ongoing dispute over the errant football and a child's father called to report that Jester kept the ball after it landed in her yard.

I also invited the boys in to eat from my silly bowl of candy beans and offered him a buffalo nickel to paint my foolish fence and he flat out refused, which is why I kept his ball and waved at him with my Jester-wand and told him to get off the gosh darned lawn... it was pure merriment!

Blue Ash Police Capt. James Schaffer says police warned Jester twice and finally arrested her after she refused to accept a citation. She must appear in mayor's court next month.

That nice young man took me for a ride to bingo house, where it seems I lost a bit of money and need to go back next month to try and win again. Did I ever tell you about my grandson Emmit? One time he came over to reshingle my house and he had just the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Turns out he's a little prankster himself. Instead of giving me my nightly bath while he was here, he locked me in my merry little basement and 700 dollars from my trickster purse. And that was the first time I ever found a blue bird out hiking. I'm sorry, who are you dear? Sometimes I do get a case of the vapors and forget my wits what I brought for cracking.

Jester said Monday she didn't have time to discuss the incident, saying she has received many phone calls about it.

I've just been so busy making merry and crackin' wits that this ol' southern gal hasn't had time for your talkin sweety. Why don't you come in and have some silly ol' candy beans. I'll tell you a story about makin' pranks! You see, I have this grandson Herbie, I ever tell you about him? You see he came over to reshingle my house and... hey! Where you goin sweetums? Don't you have time for a merry ol' jokester? Oh Mah stars.

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