Monday, November 10, 2008

Woman Sues Fortune Teller for Fraud - Can She be Countersued for Being Stupid?

I predict you will lose a lot of money in a very stupid fashion

So let's say your horoscope says you will find a new love. You don't. Are you then allowed to sue the newspaper for a section pretty clearly designed for entertainment? If I can't complete a crossword puzzle, can I sue the New York Times(seriously, can I? Fucking puzzle)? Anyway, if you're dumb enough to take a fortune teller seriously, you shouldn't be allowed legal recourse in any fashion. Someone please pass this info to this woman.

How do you prove a curse wasn’t lifted?
That’s the question a Collier County judge will have to determine when the case of a 54-year-old Golden Gate woman suing a fortune teller for fraud, theft and deceptive trade practices heads to court.

This is like trying to sue one of those pan handlers who acts like a robot for change for false advertisement after you stick around long enough to find out its just a guy who paints himself.

Eumathe Dufrene is suing Doris Palm & Card Reading on Airport-Pulling Road, alleging that she paid Tiffany Johnson $80 for a card reading on March 8 and then was asked to provide $300 the next day, then more money over several weeks. Dufrene said she was asked to pay Johnson for medicine to prevent evil and “grave calamities” from being around her family and children and more money after the first “spiritual loan” wasn’t enough to lift the evil.

There are so many things wrong with this paragraph I don't even know where to begin. I guess the first sentence will suffice. Airport-Pulling Road? What. The. Fuck. How does a road get a name like that? Like I get when streets got practical names like "Main Street" and "Farm Road" or "Cheap Whore Lane". But Airport-Pulling? How do you pull an airport? Is this some biological term I am unfamiliar with? "Oh man, I was playing hoops last night and totally pulled my airport." And then ok. She was asked to provide this money. Is she familiar with the term "No" ? Isn't that the only way this case could have merit? Because suing a fortune teller for not removing a curse is like suing EA games when you win the world series on MLB 2k8 but are never presented with a trophy or ring. Sort of. Also, please prove in court that evil has not been lifted. While you're at it, get the judge riled up enough and you can probably prove that ghosts are real, too.

Dufrene ended up paying $13,200 over several weeks in March, according to her lawsuit filed Oct. 28 in Small Claims Court. Johnson, who has a money-back guarantee, promised to return the money, according to the lawsuit, which includes a receipt showing Johnson’s signature that is labeled “Exhibit 1.”

Things you could spend even less than 13K on to protect your family... hmmm... Nope. I can't think of a single thing.

On March 25, after no money was returned, Dufrene went to the business at 1872 Airport-Pulling Road and asked for her money back. But Johnson claimed the evil surrounding Dufrene’s family was causing complications with Johnson’s pregnancy and asked her to call in a couple of days, the lawsuit says.

Seriously? Please tell us how she responded to that. "Oh. Ok. I'll wait a couple more days, but then I for realsies want my money back!" "If I give you your money back today as opposed to Wednesday, your baby will die!" My biggest problem with people as dumb as this woman is two-fold: They breed. And, they vote. Anyway, after this the article kind of gets confusing.

She was constantly calling and constantly coming here,” Doris Johnson said as she sat in her business. “The money was for my daughter’s readings, her time.”
She said Dufrene was upset because her son was murdered and nothing was done, and she’d also lost her job and was depressed.
“She felt so confused and troubled about her son, her life and everything around her,” Johnson said, adding that Dufrene wanted a curse placed on her son’s killer, but they don’t do that type of work and said Dufrene would have to do that in her country, Haiti.

So the defendant's daughter was giving her readings? But then she wanted a curse put on a guy they couldn't find? How does all these even begin to approach thirteen grand? And then it just kind of tapers off, explaining that Madame Ruby had just had another kid is why she couldn't do the readings, and how the parties disagree about what all the money was for. But then it mentions a few other sort of similar cases, which are awesome.

In 2001, a man settled his lawsuit for an undisclosed amount the day of his trial against a 90-year-old Atlantic City boardwalk fortune teller. He claimed he paid her $200,000 over 13 years to remove a curse. He alleged he’d suffered a nervous breakdown and held Sole Mio Balaam Nicola responsible because he left his wife after the fortune-teller told him that if he did not, he’d be “attacked by snakes.”

Seriously though. Aside from me being all for people taking advantage of idiots. How do you prove in court that this information is false. You've already left your wife. Who knows what happens if he doesn't. Maybe he does get attacked by snakes. I'd certainly like to think so. I'd also have loved to been in the room when he dumped her, because she must have thought he was cheating or secretly gay or something, right? "I have to leave you my darling. An old woman on a boardwalk said if I didn't I will be attacked by snakes."

In 1996, a Roanoke, Va., Circuit judge ordered Lola Rose Miller, who offered fortunes under the name Miss Stella, to return more than $65,000 that a Roanoke man paid her for six numbers that were supposed to win $3 million in the lottery. She’d already served a year in jail after an undercover sting by a police officer, who was told a glass of water, a dirty sock and $1,200 paid to her would cure his marital problems — and an evil curse shaped like a potato inside his body. She also was ordered to pay $18,000 in restitution to a victim who prompted the police sting.

He first became suspicious when he got into the bedroom and his wife didn't seemed to be turned on by the glass of water in his hand or the dirty sock covering his genitals.

No comments:

Post a Comment