Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Amazin' Birthday Gift: Santana to the Mets!

See what I did there with that headline? Get it? Amazin'?

Anyway, my insane lameness aside, reports abound that Johan Santana is going to be a New York Met.

Considering we went from being an after thought, dark horse, long shot, etc etc. in the Santana sweepstakes, as it were, it is completely unbelievable that we actually landed him. Our rotation just got incredibly formidable, and the only real important prospect we gave up was Carlos Gomez.* Pitching prospects turn out to be busts so often it's hard to be too upset about losing Mulvey and Humber.** The fourth prospect I hadn't even heard of, so who cares about him?*** We will now be presenting Johan Santana, Pedro Martinez, John Maine, Oliver Perez, and some combo of Mike Pelfrey or El Duque. If Pedro stays healthy, that has to be one of the best rotation in the NL this side of Arizona.

My brother called me to wish me a happy birthday and then told me the news, I told him cruel jokes do not equal birthday presents and that we were no longer friends. I have since apologized.

Though now that I think of it, I am pretty sure that he was convinced that telling me Santana was coming to the Mets was "a heck of a birthday present" as in, his birthday present, to me. Oh well.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go masturbate furiously thinking about the Mets, and then take a little cat nap.

*I'm sure that statement won't come back to bite me in the ass.
**Fuck you if you thought "Scott Kazmir" as you read that, asshole.
***Will definitely end up a superstar now.

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