Monday, January 28, 2008

Collecting Things: I Wish I did.

I've always kind of wanted to have some sort of interesting collection of something, but I think in large because I'm incredibly lazy, and also because I have no money, nothing I've ever wanted to collect has ever seemed to take.

Now, I don't mean books or DVDs or things like that - I have a pretty decent collection of both of those things, and that's great - but those are both pretty basic and boring. Do I keep Anna Karenina and Immortality and Infinite Jest on higher shelves than say, The Davinchi Code in the hopes that they'll be noticed by the imaginary guests I have in my home? Of course. But what I'm talking about here is a collection of something a little bit odd, quirky, fun! When people talk about you after your imaginary house party, you don't want them to say "Oh yea, he's alright, he has a lot of books and all the Twin Peaks DVDs and every season of Homicide: Life on the Street...and also alot of Dora and Diego shit". That stuff isn't impressive or memorable. There have been a number of things I've decided I wanted to collect, then promptly gave up on, with a varying number of items to show for it..

Here are some of the things I've wanted to collect:

Bobble heads

More specifically, interesting Mets bobble heads. I have exactly one Mets bobble head, David Wright. His head no longer bobbles, thanks to my daughter breaking it. What I really wanted, was a set of bobble heads consisting of my favorite Mets players from the 2006 season, capping it off with the Endy Chavez bobble catch doll. This collection would have also included Jose Reyes, Jose Valentin and his pink panther mustache, and of course, Paul Lo Duca. I gave up because ... well... I don't really have anything to fill in that space with. I stopped bothering to try for no particular reason other than it require an amount of effort I was not willing to put forth, and an amount of money I was not willing to spend. ( The money part is a total lie - if I was anywhere near that shit I would have bought it up. I have to nip it in the bud or I have no self control. But whatever..)

Rare Items by Favorite Bands

I realize this category is kind of vague, but I want to give you an idea of the extent of how badly my desire burns out. Way back in the day, Dinosaur Jr. released albums under the name Dinosaur. They were eventually sued over the name and to fix the problem, simply tacked on Jr. to the end of the name. Problem solved. However, there were LPs of their records Dinosaur, You're Living All Over Me, and Bug that just said Dinosaur on the cover, instead of Dinosaur Jr. HUGE collectors item! I knew I had to have them. I decided then and there I would be a sort of collector and completest for my favorite bands (in large because I was in love with Lou Barlow) and have this awesome collection of rare stuff to show off and it would totally get me laid. (my sense of logic was pretty flawed back when I was 17). Anyway, I actually went ahead and procured these three LP's, as well as the following rare items by Sunny Day Real Estate: The Thief Steal Me A Peach single and the How it Feels to Be Something On single. I was proud, I was excited. Could this be the interesting collection I've been waiting for? The one that makes me interesting to others and proud of myself? Alas, it was not to be. I think I lent these albums to a friend or something, and have no clue where they might be, not in like 6 years. They might even still be at my parents house somewhere, I really have no idea. This may very well be because drinking got top priority over any collection I may have had during college - records, toys, friends, etc.

Baseball Caps
This one still kind of exists, but its more half assed than anything else, but I have my reasons. I am one of the few people who tries on hat after hat and looks idiotic in every single one. My head is oddly shaped or hats are stupid or whatever the reason, every hat either makes me look like a train conductor or a mentally deficient person who is so dumb he can't even put on a hat that fits his head correctly. As such, whenever I pass by a store that sells baseball hats, I'm always tempted and excited to see if I can find a hat that fits my head nicely. It also means that if I find a hat like that, I'm going to buy that fucker. And I'm going to wear it. Then I'm going to decide three days later that it too, makes my head look stupid and vow never to wear a baseball hat again. Then I'm going to repeat the process until I own every hat ever... As it stands right now, I own over 10 Mets baseball hats, a few Jets baseball hats, and a couple of Islanders baseball hats. I wear maybe 2 and hate the rest with a passion. Every time I walk by a Lids I need to fight every instinct in my body to go into the store. For the time being I'm sticking to one of the maybe five winter hats I own (2 Mets, 2 Jets, 1 plain grey).

The other stuff I was super into wanting to collect is too embarrassing to recount here right now (aka its almost time to leave work), but the list includes: X-Men Action Figures, X-Men Action Figures unopened in their boxes, Star Wars action figures and snow globes. And now I'm off to hang my head in shame.

IMPORTANT EDIT: If I had known Anna Karenina was currently an Oprah Book Club book, I would have said Kierkegaard or something instead.

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