Audience Member: That's not funny, taintface!
Sir, I am trying to report the news here. Can you be a little more respectful of the dead? Sheesh.
A Malaysian man has been stabbed to death for refusing to stop singing and hand over the microphone at a karaoke bar, police say.I mean, to be fair, this did happen in Malaysia, where I believe the primary export is senseless homicide. So. There's that. But really? This situation escalated to murder??? I mean, turning the sound system off wasn't a viable option?
Abdul Sani Doli[hahahahaha this dude's name is silly as shit! um...God rest his soul -Ed.], 23, reportedly angered some of the customers when he hogged the stage at the bar in Sandakan town on eastern Borneo island.So they killed him. And not with a gun mind you, not a one-second, possibly moment-of-passion "BLAM!" No. This was a stabbing. As in, these people at a karaoke bar were SO pissed at this dude that after they had successfully removed him from the stage they decided to stab. Then stab. Then stab (cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut). I mean, when you stab a person to death you are all up in their business. Trust me. TRUST me.
He was punched before being stabbed to death with a knife.Ouch! They punched him? I bet that must've smarted...y'know, before he was murdered to death with a knife. After that I bet it didn't hurt as much, in comparison.
The article concludes with a description of what karaoke is, which pisses me off every time journalists do this.
Karaoke, in which amateurs can sing along to their favourite songs, first emerged from Japan and became hugely popular across Asia during the 1980s, before spreading to other parts of the world.No fucking shit you shit fucker who fornicates with fecal matter. Although, I guess to be fair, I did go back and re-read the article pretending not to know what the word "karaoke" means, and it was literally the most baffling thing I've ever read in my life.