Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mom Arrested For Being Awesome


In Nevada yesterday, a woman was arrested for being totally awesome.

A 39-year-old woman was arrested last week on suspicion of smoking marijuana with her two teenage children. Douglas County sheriff's deputies said the woman was detained after they responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle. Deputies said the woman told them that she was teaching her son to drive, but they smelled marijuana emanating from the vehicle.

Look, I know this isn't the greatest parenting choice in the world. You can have that. But if you are one of the many thousands of people who believe that pot is just as innocuous as the very legal alcohol, this isn't really any worse than giving your kid a glass of wine with dinner, is it? I mean, I guess this is more like giving your kid a glass of wine while you teach him how to drive, but like I said, not the best parenting choice.

The suspect's son, whose age was unavailable, and 14-year-old daughter told deputies they had shared two bowls of marijuana with their mother.

Full disclosure: I had a friend in high school whose mom smoked pot with us. We used to go to his house and smoke pot and drink, and totally keep it on the down low. We thought we were totally awesome, which I guess could be the result of being 15 and really naive. Because then one day we're there and his mom breaks out a joint and asks for a light. Me and my friends immediately thought, "Wow! This is the coolest lady alive!" I wound up losing touch with the kid and have no idea how he turned out, so I guess I'm not really the best authority on the subject. But seriously, I don't smoke pot anymore, but I'm all for the legalization of it. Mainly because I love to see white kids with dreadlocks. I mean, I understand that it's illegal, but isn't that just because people are dicks?

That would be berbalerbs, if pot were legal... I mean shit, they filmed most of that short on our college campus!

The woman was booked into jail Tuesday on charges of child endangerment, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and possession of a drug.

I mean really though, child endangerment? What's the worst that could have happened, he drives 15 miles an hour and still freaks out that he's going faster than the speed of light? Because man have I been there. I mean, at least it's not snorting heroin, right?

The 14-year-old was released to Child and Protective Services, while the boy was placed in juvenile detention.

What? Why was one released to CPS and the other sent to juvey? Was the older one her dealer or something? That shit's wack son! Anyway, I guess the moral here is don't give your kid pot while teaching him how to drive. Kids learning to drive suck. They are bound to draw to draw attention to themselves, so try not to hot box your car. Though I guess the real moral here is if you're going to smoke pot with your kid, don't get caught, asshole.

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