Wednesday, July 30, 2008

No Jail for Boyfriend Who Let Girlfriend Fuse with Toilet

I think we should all say a little prayer and thank Jesus for this.

If you recall, a few months back, a story broke that a woman refused to leave her bathroom for 2 years, and had literally
fused with the toilet seat (Please note the picture of the toilet in the article, in case you were confused as to what a toilet is).

From that article, they mention:

But despite his professions that he was caring for his partner of 16 years, authorities have indicated they are considering charging him with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

So, it turns out they did charge him with this. And in a 'who fucking cares' kind of update, he was given probation. But so also then given 6 months in jail. But that was for waggling his dong at a teenage neighbor.

Kory McFarren pleaded no contest last month to a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult. A judge sentenced him Tuesday to six months in jail but granted the probation after the victim, Pam Babcock, asked for leniency.

"She didn't believe that her circumstances were his fault," Ness County Attorney Craig Crosswhite said.

Is it really fair to be calling her a 'victim'? If anyone's the victim, isn't it the guy who has to put up with this shit for 2 years? Seriously, if my girlfriend stopped leaving the bathroom, and I had to take care of her, I would lose my shit. This guy should get a medal for putting up with her crazy for so long. Probation? I'm no law-ish type guy, but what would count as violating that probation? Letting someone else sit on the toilet too long?

"She didn't believe that her circumstances were his fault," Ness County Attorney Craig Crosswhite said.

No shit! Why is the woman who's been on the toilet for 2 years the voice of reason here?!

Babcock's plight became known in February when McFarren called the Ness County sheriff, expressing concern about his live-in girlfriend. When authorities arrived, they found Babcock physically stuck to the toilet.

I guess the serious question one would have to ask mister McFarren(not to be confused with mister McFerrin), is why exactly he waited until she was literally stuck to the toilet to call for help. At some point, after like, I don't know... the first year? maybe, wouldn't you call her friends or family and be like "Hi, your daughter hasn't left the bathroom in over 12 months, any suggestions?" The first article mentions that it happened slowly and so progressively that he didn't come to think it was weird. But like, wouldn't at some point, he be out with friends or at work and someone would be like "How's the wife?" And he'd be like "Great, hasn't left the bathroom in a week, but ...oh wait, now that I'm saying this out loud... it's completely fucking bats!"

McFarren told police Babcock had refused to come out of the bathroom for two years. Medical personnel estimated she'd been sitting on the toilet for at least a month and said the seat had adhered to sores on her body.

Nothing serious to add here except: Ewwwwww... sores on your ass?

She is now under the protection of a guardian who was appointed through the legal department at the hospital where she received treatment.

That's good. But what I really want to know is this: When she has to go to the bathroom... is there someone there to make sure she doesn't sit there too long? Do they give her a time limit? Like 15 minutes? Or do they ween her slowly, like "Ok you can spend 2 weeks in the bathroom but that's it." Someone goes home from work and tells a loved one "I was a bathroom monitor today". That person is a medical professional with lots of schooling.

Also Tuesday, McFarren was sentenced to six months in jail for an unrelated charge of lewd and lascivious behavior for exposing himself to a teenage neighbor in March. I can't believe that's just a little mention at the bottom of the article! March is when the whole toilet thing happened, which means he either excused himself briefly while his wife was on the toilet (she was always home) or right after they sawed her ass off the toilet (literally) he decided to celebrate by flashing one of his neighbors at the trailer park! Couldn't they have been more specific with regards to the date of the incident? I'm so curious!

As a little post script, something in the first article struck me as odd:

McFarren insisted Babcock hadn't spent the entire two years on the toilet, claiming that until late January she was taking baths and changing her clothes regularly.

Now... I understand the baths, no one wants to stink. But why bother changing your clothes regularly? Who are you trying to impress, the shower? If your boyfriend doesn't care that you live in a bathroom, I can't imagine him caring that you're wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday. Also, it's like, they can't just let the article be hilarious at someone else's expense without trying to bring you down at the end. The first article ended thusly:

Babcock's legs atrophied (suffered muscle wastage) as a result of her sitting on the toilet for so long and it's not known if she will ever walk again.

Well now I almost feel bad about ridiculing her this whole time! Though is does present the question: If she's wheelchair bound... do they just cut a little hole in the seat, or is that like letting her win?


  1. I would've liked to see "dong waggling" as a tag...other than that,


  2. ask and ye shall receive. hopefully the first of many "dong waggling" tags.