Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Can't You People Take a Joke? He Was in Character

You squares just don't get it, do you?

It doesn't count as sodomy when he's playing a role!
A livery cab driver is accused of rape:

"Torkieh Sadagheh, 28, had aspired to be "the next Borat," a neighbor said.
The accused rapist played a character akin to British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen's wildly popular Borat - a bigoted reporter from Kazakhstan - in a homemade film, neighbor Joseph Polemeni said.
"He was trying to make a movie," said Polemeni, 49. "Apparently, the kid is trying to be a Borat-type guy."
Polemeni said he once went with Sadagheh to Manhattan's Riverside Park, where the wanna-be filmmaker accosted elderly parkgoers.
"He asked embarrassing questions," said Polemeni, of Gravesend, Brooklyn. "He wanted to know what old people knew about sex. This guy is a real jerk."
Sadagheh was arrested Sunday, hours after Monica Maneiro, 23, a dancer from Scores West Side, escaped a backseat attack and reported his license-plate number to cops.
In the meantime, Sadagheh had raped and sodomized another 23-year-old woman in the car, officials said.
Both women were picked up at 28th St. and 10th Ave"

I still remember how bad I freaked out before stepping into my first livery cab... fearing for my life at 125th street right below the Metro North Terminal. I tried so hard to catch a yellow cab, to no avail for several minutes. I probably wouldn't have cared really, but my girlfriend was with me at the time, and as little as I cared about the consequences of getting myself killed, having someone else's blood on my hands was not something I was prepared for. The ride turned out to be totally fine, no different than any other cab ride, save the lack of meter. After that we used several livery cabs throughout the rest of the time I lived in Washington Heights.

As much as I'd like to say "wow, maybe it's not such a good idea after all", I can't because this seems more the exception than the rule. All my experiences in livery cabs have been pleasant, despite the lack of sodomy. I've never even been hit on my a livery cab driver - am I not pretty enough for you? Am I not your type? Why would you even bother to pick me up if you didn't think I was sexy?

I would like to see his movie, however.

I'd also like to point out that I've spent the past 25 years doing research for a movie about a sarcastic asshole who makes fun of everyone, nonstop. Even loved ones! So if you know me, and I've offended you at some point in your life, it doesn't count because I was in character. Don't hate me because I'm a terrific actor!

1 comment:

  1. It's not that you're unattractive, you (jew) just give everyone the Heebie-Jeebies.