Friday, February 8, 2008

Nerd Alert: Star Wars Prequel Bitching

Don't worry... honest. This isn’t about how stupid it is that Darth Vader was an obnoxious little kid, or any of that shit. This specific rant is because last night I watched a decent portion of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

This is generally considered the best of the three prequels, which is equivalent to saying "Well, chlamydia is at least better than syphilis or AIDs!" It might be true, but it's still fucking gross and a stupid thing to say. Anyway, George Lucas of course claims he wrote all six episodes at the same time and the story had all been planned out, and I think there are enough gaping holes in the prequels that a single rewatch of the original three shoots that idea to hell. The problem I found myself with last night, or I guess I should say the biggest problem, was that at the end, Obi-Wan has the opportunity to kill Darth Vader, and he doesn't. One might argue that this is because they were friends, brothers, lovers, etc. Obe's couldn't bring himself to do it. He just could not and would not kill his friend. This argument would be a good one, if only Darth didn't slip towards lava and catch fire. For whatever reason, Obi-Wan just sits there and watches while this "brother" of his writhes in agony with a flaming head and de-limbed body.

Isn't that insanely more cruel than putting him out of his misery and, in turn, coming that much closer to destroying the Sith? And, certainly when he walks away he thinks he is leaving him for dead, no? The Emperor shows up way later to save him. Shouldn't then Obi-Wan and Yoda be surprised to find out he's alive? Shouldn't there have been a conversation between Yoda and Obi-Wan that got real awkward real fast about Annakin's status?

And if anyone had stopped for one second to bring up this point in production, it could have been the easiest thing to fix. There is a scene in Thank You For Smoking where Rob Lowe talks about how smoking in space is an easy fix, despite the all oxygen environment. "Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever machine." This is essentially how George Lucas went about trying to correct his mistakes towards the end of Episode III. "Oh, Obi-Wan, by the way, your old master discovered immortality, I'll show you how to talk to him" "Erase that droids mind, so that he has no idea how implausible this story is" etc. And this one glaring problem that I've been ranting about like a pimply fat kid on break from a game of WoW is the most easily fixable one! Have the Emperor show up as Obi-Wan is about to do him in or something. Whatever, it takes two seconds. UGH.

To make me feel better, I'm posting a bit of Robot Chicken Star Wars

No comments:

Post a Comment