Woman at Party: [coming up to Louis during party] Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol?
Louis: [opening cabinet] Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice...
[takes platter back into living room]
Louis: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though.
[walks up to a hapless guest, speaking confidentially]
Louis: I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that's why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin' a good time, Mark?
[heads across the room, greeting other guests]
Louis: How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature!
[to the Tall Woman]
Louis: You think it's too warm in here for the brie?
Tall Woman at Party: [standing] Louis, I'm going home.
Louis: Aw, don't leave yet. Well, listen, maybe if we start dancing other people will join in!
Tall Woman at Party: [pauses] Okay!
[Louis and the Tall Woman begin disco dancing. Suddenly the doorbell rings]
Louis: Oh, don't move, I just gotta get the door.
[opens door, greeting guests]
Louis: Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come, how you doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent.
[throws the guests' coats in the closet, oblivious that they hit the Terror Dog hiding there]
Louis: So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?
[the Terror Dog growls from inside the bedroom]
Louis: [grinning] Okay, who brought the dog?
Ok fine. Here's what I don't get. The apartment building he shares with Dana Barrett is on Central Park West, like right around the lincoln center/columbus circle area. Or maybe up by the Museum of Natural History. Whatever, the fucking Upper West Side, in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Manhattan. My question is: How much is Louis paying in rent? If he didn't stumble into a somehow rent controlled place, he'd have to be paying an arm and a leg for an apartment like his. Completely unlike him. I call bullshit. I used to love Ghostbusters. Now I fucking hate it.