Friday, March 14, 2008

But So Who's the Lucky Lady, Slim

When I'm preparing for a hot date, often the things I think to myself are "Is the forklift ready to get me out of the house?" and "Did I remember to rent a flatbed truck to get me and my bed to my date?" It seems I'm not alone in forgetting to think "Is my iron bed too tall to fit under that overpass?"

"But even the open road wasn't big enough to handle Uribe's dream of celebrating a budding romance and his success in losing about 440 pounds."

Now, if you're like me, right now you are wondering how a 1200 pound man confined to a special made bed can even plant the romantic seeds that could lead to any kind of buds. But also if you're like me, you're missing most of your teeth and pee in a jar, so who are you to judge.

The good news is that Manuel has lost 400 pounds. The bad news is that if he were too look down ever so slightly, he'd see about 800 pounds and probably never even notice those 400 that went missing.

Also, if a mariachi band ever played celebratory music just for me being forklifted out of my own house, I'd know it was time to end it all... or maybe, just was actually time to meet a hot babe for drinks and din-din and possibly some lovin? (After the logistics of not killing your partner were properly hashed out, of course)

The guy seems nice and has been trying to get help and slim down for years now, so I won't say anything mean or make any jokes about the accident. [this was the first sentence I wrote. funny how fast things change]

Manuel Uribe's site

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