Friday, January 16, 2009


So this is the story of some dude in Nevada who beat a speeding ticket. Good for him, right? Well, the reason he got the ticket thrown out might now effect traffic signs in his town, making the streets safer.

This is the article about why that's apparently a bad thing.
A Spring Creek man who beat a $62 ticket has created a legal speed trap that could cost Elko County and his neighbors much more.
If you're wondering what the vague and marginally evocative phrase "cost Elko blah blah much more" is referring to...well, you go ahead and wonder in one hand and shit in the other. See which one gets filled up first.
James Killian...argued the ticket...for going 39 mph in a 25 mph zone was unenforceable because the speed limit sign was too small and didn't comply with uniform traffic codes adopted by the state in 2003. [emphasis mine]
Soooo...what's the point of this article? Man, I mean, if I was an Elko County justice I would've agreed and dismissed the citation.
Elko Justice of the Peace Al Kacin agreed, and dismissed the citation.
Oh. Huh. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE?!? (I guess one could ask, "what is the purpose of this blog post?" To you I say "shut up." Here. Here's some boobs. Now keep reading.)
Now county and Spring Creek Association employees are taking inventory of traffic signs, trying to determine how many may need to be replaced if the local jurisdictions are required to comply with the updated standards.
This, as far as I can gather, is what's going to "cost" the Elko-ans "much more." Replacing traffic signs SO THAT THEY ARE UP TO LEGAL STANDARDS isn't free, you know?? This is why people fucking HATE Elko Nevada (just trust me on this one) and America in general. "Bigger speed limit signs?!??? Well, that'll cost money! Money from taxes!!! I don't LIKE taxes!!! Boooooooo safety! Go eat a dick safety!!!

These are the same fucks who will try and sue everyone in a 10 mile radius for negligence if their kid gets hit by a speeding car (OH THE INJUSTICE!!! WHY AREN'T THESE SIGNS UP TO LEGAL STANDARDS!?!?).
Killian said he wouldn't have raised the issue if he had known the unintended consequences of the judge's ruling.
"Geez, I mean, if I knew I'd be improving safety, I'd have just as soon paid the ticket. These improvements are gonna cost MONEY, y'know? At least if I just paid the ticket it woulda just"

In conclusion, it seems like I've lost my ability to write funny blogs, and replaced it with the ability to write angry self-righteous ones. here I come!!!

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