Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bank Error In Your Favor, Just Remember to Play it Cool

If you're like me, you've played plenty of games of Monopoly. Well, if you're like me you've played like, 1/3 of plenty of games of Monopoly before you were bored out of your mind. Anyway, one of the best Chance cards was always "Bank Error in your favor. Collect $500." This always seemed like an awesome development. What if the bank accidentally put extra money in your account? You win right? Well, wrong. I guess.

A Pennsylvania couple is behind bars after police say they failed to call the bank when a glitch put an extra $175,000 in their account.

You can go to jail for this? Why? The bank fucked up. How is that your problem? Bank error in my favor! If all of a sudden a ton of money shows up in my bank account, I'm not going to question it, I'm going to say "holy fuck I'm packing up my shit, closing that account, buying a house somewhere and starting a new life!" Once that money is in my account, it's my money. I don't care who put it there or why. It could be drug money for all I care. Hell, I hope it is drug money. Why not! Seriously though. Let's say you suddenly find your bank account having more money in it than you make in a year. Are you really going to want to call anyone and say "Excuse me, suddenly I have all this money, and I'm pretty sure I shouldn't." And you shouldn't have to! The bank fucked up, it's their problem, not yours.

Did Preston have to do time too?

Authorities say 50-year-old Randy Pratt and 36-year-old Melissa Pratt instead withdrew the money, quit their jobs and moved to Florida.

See, at first I was thinking "Stupid, they should have played it cool, like as if nothing happened, just hang low, then when the time is right, bolt in the night." But then after reading this a few times, I thought "When would the time be right? If they notice the error, could they just take it out, without even telling you? Maybe they did the right thing immediately getting the fuck out of dodge."

They were buying a house in the Orlando area when the mistake was traced.

Here's what I don't get. What is their crime, exactly? Closing their bank account? Spending money in their own bank account? Can't you just tell the bank to fuck off and get a bailout?

The two were arraigned Tuesday on theft and other charges and jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail. A public defender was being assigned.

How is this theft?! If someone hands you a hundred dollar bill, then after you've left, calls you and says "Oh shit, I only meant to give you a five." Have you stolen? I don't get it.

A $1,772.50 deposit showed up in their FNB Bank account last summer as $177,250.

Whoopsy! Oh well, not their fucking problem! I wish I knew someone in banking or something who could help explain this to me. I also wish I knew someone at Milton Bradley, because they're going to have to change those chance cards to "Bank error in your favor, collect $500. Then make sure you give it back to the banker so you don't wind up in jail. That's right, you could do time for having a dumb banker." Of course they may have to drop the font size a smidge, but that's neither here nor there.

Police say Melissa Pratt said her husband, a roofing installer, often got large checks and she wasn't aware of any error.

Ok. While that's pretty obviously a lie, isn't that fair though? "Sure I had $8 in my checking account, but I get big checks all the time, so I totally had no clue, and I assure you the closing of the account and moving and buying a house are all just coincidental, now kindly fuck off."

This is an issue I will be very confused about for some time to come. If anyone would care to explain it to me, I' m all ears. Except it should be pretty clear by now that I've made up my mind on the matter so any and all arguments not in agreement with my sentiments will be ignored.

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