Friday, April 11, 2008

Not Quite Ready for ABC

First and foremost, I would like to issue a warning. If you are going to do a google image search for "wife swap", please just go ahead make sure your safe search is on...

Moving right along, a Bulgarian man for reals made a wife swap with a friend of his. The only thing is that his friend didn't have a wife so much. It was more like he had a goat.

So the long and the short of the story is that the guys wife was barren, and the goat has had 3 kids[literally, kids!] and so he's going to try his luck with the goat, I think.

"The day before a friend told me that he has had no luck with women and that he really liked my wife," says the 54-year-old. "The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval."
"The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none. "
"So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife."

The article never really specifies whether the guy plans on having sex with the goat or if he is under the impression that he can have kids with the goat, as opposed to another goat impregnating it with more goat babies or what. I'm not sure if this is intentional or if it's more like no one has any idea what this guy is fucking thinking.

The article then goes on to say it's not the first time a person has married an animal and so forth, then gives some examples, with this bit being my favorite:

"Last year, the marriage of a man and a Sudanese goat became the subject of international attention when the story was picked up by the BBC website.
The black and white goat named Rose became an Internet phenomenon after her owner discovered the man, Charles Tombe, copulating with the animal.
In accordance with Sudanese tradition, Mr Tombe was forced to marry Rose and pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars (£25).
Rose has since died after choking on a plastic bag while eating scraps on the streets of Juba
. "

I wonder why they felt the need to mention not only that his goat-wife is dead, but also give such specific details about the things death. I can't be the only one who finds that bizarre, right? Also, how does a goat choke on a plastic bag? I've seen goats eat tin cans and ... well I guess mainly tin cans ... but felled by a plastic bag? Have cartoons been lying to us this whole time?


  1. Knowing my luck, I'll probably end up marrying a bitch-stray, too. To account for all those women I stoned to death in elementary school.

  2. I've spent the last few years stoning women to try and reverse my karma from marrying all those bitch-strays in my youth.

  3. That Wife Swap show is just aching to go too far one of these times.