Monday, April 14, 2008

Man Wins Oyster Eating Competition. Is Probably Really Horny

Patrick Bertoletti won the Acme Oyster Eating Championship in New Orleans on Sunday. He did this by downing 35 dozen oysters in 8 minutes. That's 420 oysters. That's 52.5 oysters a minute.

The article doesn't mention prize money of any sort, it just says that he won a belt in the shape of an oyster, along with a serious case of

But in all seriousness, it seems all the talk of slurping up shelled glop to rev your engine
might not be entirely true. Or at least it's still kind of a mystery. Still though, if they're going to have a competitive aphrodisiac-downing competition, call me up when it's time for the whiskey chug. And remember the most important rule: no fatties.

And don't think I forgot about you (skinny) ladies, here's a picture of the stud muffin himself, Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti.

I'm eating oysters just looking at him... if you know what I mean.


  1. Gross. And yet somehow intriguing. Though it's entirely possible I'm turned on because of the added "danger" of him throwing up on me during sex.

    Did I say danger? I meant werewolf cock-gobbling awesomeness.

  2. Homeboy's sporting the wood already during that pizza contest, if my eyes don't deceive me. And on such matters they never have.