Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Sometimes You Have to Think Outside the Bun

If I were ever about to taken to jail, or in the middle of a high speed car chase, I don't know where my mind would be. I would imagine though, at no point would I think to myself: I might be going to jail for a while, better get a fourth meal.

Officials say a suspected drug dealer who led police on a 90 mph chase in Indiana was arrested after he stopped suddenly at a Taco Bell parking lot.

Fort Wayne police Sgt. Mark Walters says 36-year-old Jermaine Askia Cooper told officers he "knew he was going to jail for a while" and wanted to get one last burrito. He did not get the burrito, police said.

So, if you're ever about to be arrested, and leading police on a high speed chase, and you stop, you might not have time to get a burrito while you stop? Well I'll be. At least in my extended absence people haven't gotten any smarter, that's really reassuring. So what was the rumpus to being with?

Cooper was held without bail on four counts of dealing cocaine, one count of resisting arrest by fleeing and other charges.

Ah. Fair enough. So the coke explains the high speed chase and the logic FAIL, but if he was all coked up you'd think food was the last thing on his mind. You couldn't get me to eat taco bell even if you put some borderline midget washed up old playmate in the commercial...

You think she's hot shoving that phallic burrito into her mouth? Just imagine her on the toilet with violent diarrhea 30 seconds after that first bite. [boi oi oi oi oing]

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