Woman Named Bacon Wins 1st Prize in Hog Look-a-Like Competition

Well, maybe not exactly... but COME ON! Look at her!

They say a pet owner often comes to resemble his pet, so it should be no surprise to learn that this is a woman with several pigs.

Jolee Bacon really sizzles when it comes to hog-calling.

GET IT! Sizzles?!?!?! That's even shittier than my play on words would have been: "Jolee Bacon may do hog-calling, but any hog with working eyes aint callin' her back!" or "Angelina Jolee Bacon: Not Wanted", or "Jolee Bacon sure is fucking gross looking!" Whatever. Fuck you.

The northern Idaho woman took first place Saturday in the competition at the Nez Perce County Fair.

She also won the pie-eating contest and took home the prize for "sweatiest", but neither of these accomplishments garnered attention because her name is Bacon.

She has raised several champion pigs for 4-H contests. Bacon says she calls pigs every morning and night with her 9-year-old daughter, Jacey.

She then went on to clarify that despite what we were all thinking, Jacey is not one of those champions. When asked what exactly, she calls these pigs, Jolee said, "Lover, sweet thang, fuck toy, Bobby Dean... I gots all kindsa names for 'em. Mostlys I just tries to waits till theys big enough before I eats 'em. Sometimes I fergets and bites 'em whiles theys still walkin' round the house."

Bacon won the crown over as she started her hog call with a few loud snorts and a long, drawn-out "sooey."

She really won the crowd over, however, when she removed several of her ribs and smoked them low and slow until they were fall off the bone tender and delicious.