ZOMG!!!:-)))))))) You May Have the Herp.

Wonderful things like chlamydia...hey that reminds me!

Go get checked for STDs.

Since 2004, a free Web site, inSpot.org has allowed users to anonymously notify their partners to get tested for STDs such as HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis.

It would be easy for me to make light of a program that really does help fight the spread of STDs by delivering information potentially vital to an individual's well-being and allowing those with STDs to inform their past partners without more humiliation than they are already experiencing...

So here goes!

Of course I'm kidding. The real e-cards they send out aren't that bad. They're much, much worse.

The electronic cards deliver the news in a variety of styles. Some are flirty: "You're too hot to be out of action. I got diagnosed with an STD since we played. You might want to get checked too."

(Thankfully) I can't speak from experience, but if I had warts on m'dick, I'm fairly sure that "flirty" would not be a style in which I'd deliver ANYTHING, let alone a message saying "Hey I have dick warts! We boned! You might wanna make a doctor's appointment! Call me!"

Some are somber: "Who? What? When? Where? It doesn't matter. I got an STD; you might have it too. Please get checked out."

Better, but does it really need a clever little presentation to it at all? I mean, is this trying to sell the recipient on getting tested? Are there people out there who are like "hm...well it seems like I've slept with someone with the Hiv." "That sucks man, are you going to get tested?" "Idunno...the email lacked a certain 'joi de vive' to it. I might just go have unprotected sex and share needles instead."

"OoooOooOooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoOoOoOoOoOOOOooo!!!! Well, since you put it that way, to the clinic I go!!! By the way, what shade of magenta is that? LOVES IT!!!

"People are using online means to meet partners," Klausner said. "It was critical to develop online tools to promote sexual health and address this new venue."

Sounds all technology-y. Tell me more!

The health department promoted syphilis testing in the chat room through screen names and e-mails.

Cue the dramatization!

AzzLB-er: And then I was in a giant sex swing, right? And then he

DickDontItch: Hey guys wut r u talkin bout?

RRRuffRida: well lets see the chatroom iz called "GAYFUCK CHAT" so what do you think were talkin bout

DickDontItch: safe sexin it whilst flexin it?

AzzLB-er: ew no n00b i herd safe sex can give you the syphillis

DickDontItch: WHAT? 'the fuck r u talkin bout that doesnt make sense

AzzLB-er: I read it on the internet

DickDontItch: WHERE

AzzLB-er: right now after I typed it

DickDontItch: use a condom dumbass

AzzLB-er: k

In conclusion: