To Be Fair, That's What You Get

If this story were reversed, I'd kind of understand it. But as it stands now, some schmo beat up the best thing that ever happened to him because instead of buying him a remote controlled airplane for Christmas, she bought him a nintendo wii (true story, I once drove behind a guy with the vanity plate "RC BOATER." Yikes.).

A couple accused of assaulting each other over an unappreciated Christmas gift have been ordered to stay away from each other.

Seriously though, how shitty a present must it have been to cause you to assault someone...over a gift! Christ almighty this type of shit drives me bananas, and not in a good way.

Randi Young, 24, and Heath Blom, 26, were arrested on Christmas day. Police said the pair argued after Blom complained about getting a Wii game system from Young instead of the remote controlled airplane he asked for. When Young started to leave, Blom allegedly grabbed her by the hair and she turned around and hit him.

Now. Here's how one should react when receiving any sort of nintendo system as a gift:



And here is how you should react whenever you get a remote controlled airplane as a gift:



See the discrepancy? She knew better than to get him the stupid present he asked for, and yet he tried to punish her for getting him a far superior present. This is the type of situation where I'm all for capital punishment.

In court Monday, Young asked that the no-contact order be lifted, saying they just had a bad Christmas. But the judge denied the request.

The judge probably would have been more sympathetic if he had told him he just had a black Christmas. Because holy hell does that seem like the worst thing ever. Anyway, so I guess my question is what is such an obviously awesome girl doing with such a complete shitbag? Couldn't she get away with stabbing him a couple times? "Your honor, he came at me after I gave him a wii instead of a remote controlled airplane." "My dear, I sentence you to... finish the job!" [judge tosses Randi an AK47, she shoots and murders Heath, everyone plays Mario Party]