Kenny the Differently-Abled Liger On: A Case of Totalitarianism on America's Day of Democracy

The Gallimaufry is pleased to introduce you to their newest guest-blogger, Kenny the Differently-Abled Liger. Kenny is among other things, a philosopher, a movie critic, an avid MLB and NFL fan, a retarded man-made abomination of nature, a cook, and a self described "differently abled liger-about town." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Kenny.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMY NAME IS KENNY AND I LIKE THE BLUE SKY AND MY FUR SMELLS REAL NICE AFTER I GET A BATH!!!!!!!!!!!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU PEOPLES TODAY ABOUT A RECENT EVENT THAT I PURPORT SERVES AS A STARK REMINDER DAT EVEN IF WE AS A COUNTRY COULD BE HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ON A MACRO-SCALE, A GRAVE AMOUNT OF INJUSTICE STILL EXISTS IN THE NATIONAL MICROCOSMS OF SMALLTOWN AMERICA, PARTICULARLY NORTHAMPTON PENNSYLVANIA.

Poops self.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRECENTLY A NORTHAMPTON HIGH SCHOOL STUDINT WHO WILL GO UNNAMED (I DON'T WANNA GET BRYAN SCHNELLER IN NO MORE TROUBLE DAN HE ARREADY IS) DECIDED TO AMUSE HIS COMPATRIOTS WITH A SNIPPET OF CLEVER YET HARMLESS SATIRE ORIGINATING FROM A LETTER SENT FROM DA SOUP OR INTENDENT OF DA SCHOOLS.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYOU MIGHT THINK DAT IT SOUNDS PRIDDY BAD, BUT HE JUST TOOK OUT SUMPN' IN DA LETTER AND REPLACED IT WIT THE WORDS "POOPY HANDS"



AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPOOPYHANDSAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPOOPYHANDSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPOOPYHANDSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPOOPYHANDSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHALLWORKANDNOPLAYMAKESJACKADULLBOYAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPOOPYHANDS. GET IT? POOP?

I POOP SOMETIMES.

SO THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN HE SHOWS IT TO FRIEN AN THE FRIEN MAKES COPIES OF IT CUZ IT'S FUNNY CAUSE POOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! HAHA GET IT? POOP? SO THEY MAKES COPIES OF IT AND THE DECEMINATION OF SAID UNNAMED STUDINT'S SATIRICAL WORK GAVE CAUSE FOR WORRY FROM BRYAN THE UNNAMED STUDINT.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSOOOOOOO HE WENTED TO DA PRINCE IPPLE'S OFFICE AND ALERTED THEM TO THE ACTIONS THAT TRANSPIRED WHICH WERE BEYOND HIS REALM OF CONTROL.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAND DA PRINCE IPPLE'S DINNINT CARE OR NOTHIN!!! THEY PROBLY THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY TOO. POOP.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEVEN ONE OF DA TEACHERSES USED IT TO SHOW DA KIDDIES WHAT A PROPER LITERARY EXAMPLE OF THE SATIRIC FORM WAS, THUS INCORPORATING YOUNG UNNAMED BRYAN'S PIECE INTO A HIGH SCHOOL CIRRICULUUM. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT BRYAN SCHNELLER OF UNNAMED STUDINT NOTERIETY. I BET YOU SOUP OR INTENDENT OF SCHOOLS NEVER HAD NOTHIN IN NO CIRRICULUUMS.

Rolls around in aforementioned poop

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEVERY'TIN SEEMED REAL NICE FOR BRYAN WHEN HE COMED HOME FOR DA WEEKEND.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBUT EVERY'TIN WASN'T REAL NICE WHEN THA UNNAMED STUDINT COMED IN TO SCHOOL FOR CLASS ON THE MONDAY THAT CAME AFTER THE SUNDAY THAT CAME AFTER THE SATURDAY THAT CAME AFTER THE FRIDAY WHEN HE WROTED THE POOPY HANDS THINGY.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDA SOUP OR INTENDO OF SCHOOLS WAS THERE WAITN FOR HIM. I DUNNO WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE BUT I BET ITS LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!
YA KNOW WHY CUZ HOW I KNOW? CUZ UGLY PEOPLE ARE GENERALLY MISERABLE. CUZ IT'S CUZ THEIR UGLY, THATS WHY.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSO DA UGLY MAN-LADY SOUP OR NINTENDO (I CHOOSE NINTENDO HAHAHAHAPOOP) SAYS "HEY UNNAMED STUDINT, YOU GOTTA GO HOME FOR SUSPENSION!" AND BRYAN THE UNNAMED STUDINT IS ALL LIKE "NAH UH!!!" AN SHE WAS LIKE "YAH HUH!" AND HE WAS LIKE "NAH UH" AND SHE WAS LIKE

Reenacts the fist fight that presumably happened between student and superintendent with Playmobil Toys.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAND SO HE GOTTED SUSPENSIONED. FOR 5 DAYS!

FOR CHANGING "FLU" TO "POOPY HANDS" ON SOME LETTER.

WHICH DINNINT INSULT NOBODY OR NOTHIN.

THAT HE DINNINT MAKE NO COPIES OF EXCEPT FOR THE FIRST ONE THAT WAS HIS.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI FIND IT PERTINENT TO MENTION THAT ANUDDER STUDENT AT NO-NAME SCHNELLER'S SCHOOL PULLED A FIREARM OUT IN A CLASSROOM AND HELDED UP ONE OF HIS TEACHERS AT GUNPOINT. DAT STUDINT GOTTED 10 DAYS SUSPENSION. AND THEN WAS LETTED BACK INTO DA SCHOOL. AND GRADUATED. AND WASN'T ARRESTED.

THUS EQUATING "POOPY HANDS" TO HALF AS BAD AS ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON.

AND I'M DA RETARDET ONE.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUGLY FUGLY 1 2 THRUGLY SAID DAT MAYBE SOME PEOPLES WOULD THINK DAT IT WAS HER DAT WROTED THE "POOPY HANDS" LETTER AND THATS WHY SHE SUSPENSIONED HIM. BUT IT'S BEEN MY EXPERIENCE THAT UGLY PEOPLES AREN'T FUNNY NEETHER SO I DON'T THINK SHE GOT TO WORRY.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIN A SHOW OF SOLIDARITY AND AS A PREFERABLE OPTION TO ACTUALLY DOIN SOMETHIN, BRYAN'S FRIENS MADE A PAGE IN THE BOOK OF FACES. GO THERE AND TELL DEM KENNY THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED LIGER TOLDED YOU TO DO IT!!!!!!!

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!