BREAKING NEWS: PETA MEMBERS STILL MORONS

O.M.FUCKING.G.

JERUSALEM — A leading animal advocacy group said the road to Mideast peace begins in a pita.

Opening sentence. No word of lie.

Listen.

I know that animals need advocates because obviously they can't speak for themselves. I know that there are a lot of truly terrible things that humans do to animals, and there needs to be a group that helps to bring these things to light. But, um,

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD PETA, THIS IS A MILLENIA-OLD RELIGIOUS WAR THAT HAS IMPLICATIONS THAT AFFECT EVERYONE ON THE PLANET, AND HAS NOTHING, LET ME REPEAT, NOTHING, LET ME REPEAT AGAIN, NO-THING TO DO WITH BEING VEGAN OR NOT RACING HORSES OR WHATEVER'S GOT SAND IN YOUR VA-JAY-JAY THIS WEEK. BUTT. THE FUCK. OUT.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has requested Israel's permission to post pro-vegetarian signs on both sides of its barriers with the West Bank and the Gaza Strip.

Hi, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert?AAAAAALLLLOOOOOOOO DEEEERE SAAAARAAAAAH.

SMcL: Right... so, listen I want to talk to you about this Israeli/Palestinian conflict. I think I have an idea that will help.

Ehud: A newly drafted peace settlement?

SMcL: No.

Ehud: A new type of WMD so we can just get this thing over with?

SMcL: No.

Ehud: Blowjob?

SMcL: Ew.

Ehud: Well what then?!?

SMcL: Did you know that if everyone on Earth was a vegan, we'd be saving the lives of millions of animals every year??? Why, the animals killed for fur alone number in the--

Ehud: OMFUCKING G, are you kidding? 'The fuck out of here with that bullshit!

PETA's signs are in Hebrew and in English. They feature Israelis and Palestinians sitting down for a meat-free meal along with the slogans: "Give Peas a Chance," and "Nonviolence Begins on Our Plates: Go Vegetarian."

Can you imagine being an Israeli or a Palestinan in the midst of this terrible violence, living under a shadow of fear that death may come at any time from any angle for any reason, and going outside and seeing this?This is the equivalent of someone going down to Ground Zero an hour after the second plane hit to hand out flyers about Global Warming. I know where you're coming from, but TIME AND PLACE, MOTHERFUCKERS. TIME. AND. PLACE.

"Every time that we eat, we can choose not to participate in violence," PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk wrote Wednesday in a letter.

Osama bin Laden actually released a new video response to this. It's just 1:34 of him dismissively wanking this off.

While choosing a falafel sandwich over a lamb kebab doesn't create instant peace

Or eventual peace. Or any increased chance of peace at all whatsover. Actually come to think of it, it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH PEACE YOU FLAGRANT RETARD.

it reduces the sum total of violence and suffering in the world."

And there you have it: PETA summed up perfectly. A complete and total admission that this won't have any effect other than furthering their agenda. "We're here to protect animals, and we'll hurt, kill and trample the rights of as many people as we have to to make our point!!! I'm sorry, what? What have we actually done to help animals besides drawing attention to ourselves and acting like dicks? ummm..."

/Throws bucket of fake blood, runs