NO ONE F*CKING CARES

On MSNBC:

Joe the Plumber ‘angry’ McCain backed bailout

I don't know who I'm mad at right now, but I'm fucking MAD.

Maybe it's at Joe Wurzenfucker for not realizing he is a moot point now.

Maybe it's at the mainstream media for treating this jackass like he's anything more than a closeted racist whom John McCain referenced while grasping at straws during an ultimately failed campaign.

Maybe it's at the bartender last night for mixing my rum and cokes so strong that I woke up this morning an hour and a half late while still fully dressed in my clothes from the night before and later learned that I had to be dragged-- literally dragged-- out of the bar and have no recollection of my trip home. (Thanks to Pem and Kramez for the assist).

Regardless, get ready for a lot of cursing. Like, a fucking LOT of it. Let's begin.

Turns out that "Joe the Plumber" isn't such a big fan of John McCain after all.

Y'here THAT, 'Merica?? It turns out that some jagballs in the midwest who was referenced (not even by his full name) in a Presidential Debate by the guy who lost the fucking election isn't such a big fan of the guy who referenced him!!! If you are a journalist and this is your opening sentence, and you decide to continue writing the article, you should be drawn and quartered on Pay-Per-View television.

[Wurzelfucker] said he was appalled by the Republican presidential candidate's reasons for supporting the government's $700 billion bank rescue plan, and he said they nearly caused him to abandon McCain.

ABANDON HIM HOW?? It's over, the election is fucking OVER. You lost!!! Are they, like, lovers? Is that how Joe the Retard is going to abandon him? Are they both stranded in the Himalayas right now, and John McCain broke a leg and Joe said "I'll never leave you," to which McCain replied "I'm supporting the bailout," at which point Joe went silent, slowly stood up, took a few steps away, and then decided to go back?

Samuel J. Wurzelbacher said he asked McCain why he voted for the bank bailout and was stunned by some of the answers.

Yea. His first name isn't really Joe. And he isn't really a plumber. So, "Sam the Queef" is actually more accurate. You know what "stunned" me, "Joe?" When you agreed with some cunt blister's assertion that "an Obama presidency would mean a death to Israel," during a pathetic "press conference" you held in your little Bumblefuck town. It's bad, really bad when a FOX News anchor berates you for supporting a conservative.

Wurzelbacher, who endorsed McCain a week before the election and joined him on the campaign trail, didn't say exactly what set him off, hinting that would be in his book that is due out this month.

Yes. Yes that's correct. His book. His fucking book. This fucking clueless NOBODY who was a name of interest for a whole fucking week wants you and I to shell out our hard-earned money so that we can read a book that I GUARANTEE YOU HE DIDN'T WRITE about his week traveling with some dude who wanted to be president but was unsuccessful in his attempt.

He said the only reason he didn't get off the McCain bandwagon was "because the thought of Barack Obama becoming president scares me even more."

To which he added, "n*****."

Oh, and as a fucking HUGE surprise to no one, he loooooves him some Sarah Palin.

"It disgusts me on how often they try to bash her just for her sincerity," he said. "She really wants to work for America."

Yes, Joe the Fuckface. That's the reason people tried to bash her. For her sincerity. Not because she was as qualified to be vice president as my left nut is(actually, my left nut is and always has been aware that Africa is a continent, so...), not because she obviously had no idea what she was doing and looked like a deer in headlights, not because she was a hokey Howdy-Doody motherfucking PR move with a knocked up daughter, a kid named fucking Trig and a eunic for a husband. We bashed her for her sincerity. Just like we bash you for being so sincere, Sam the Author.