Goofs:
Factual errors: When Rocky is battling Fester in the master bedroom, his reflection is seen in a mirror. The mirror is hanging on a wall facing the door, away from him, and should not have caught his image.
Factual errors: When Snyder is escaping in his helicopter, Sam Douglas fires nine shots at him from a six-cylinder revolver.
Continuity: When the kids use the plunger on Hammer's face, Hammer's hair is pulled over his face. In the next shot, his hair is back in a ponytail.
Audio/visual unsynchronized: When Snyder whistles for his henchman to stop attacking the kids at the grandpa's house his fingers are two inches away from lips when the whistle is dubbed
Plot holes: Lester, Marcus, and Hammer wake up in their van while Rocky, Colt, Tum Tum and Emily ride by yelling. Hammer says, "Dude! There they go!" however, he hadn't seen the kids yet. How did he know they were the right kids?
Errors made by characters (possibly deliberate errors by the filmmakers): When Colt is in his dad's study and his mom is talking to him while putting on her earrings, when she leaves, you can see her earring fall off.
Continuity: In the scene when Emily gets her bike stolen. One shot show the brakes on the handle bars and the next shot the brakes are missing.
Factual errors: The kids use a tin can telephone throughout the movie, but both ends are mounted on lamp stands with the cable being loose. Tin can telephones only work if the cable is taut. Otherwise, the vibrations wouldn't reach the other side.
Continuity: When Tumtum is playing Super Mario Bros. 3, we see the screen four times. Every time we see the screen, he is at a radically-different point in the game.
Continuity: During Snyder and Grandpa's fight, Grandpa knocks Snyder's sword out of his hands. In the overhead camera shots that follow, the sword is still there on the mats, but in the "from the side" camera angles that follow, the sword is gone.
Audio/visual unsynchronized: Snyder's helicopter doesn't make any noise until it appears on screen. Helicopters are extremely noisy vehicles, and it should have been making noise, even out of the angle of view.
Continuity: Brown tells Fester that the Douglas' address is 623, but when you see the kids running out the house the number in front says 580.
Trivia:
Colt was originally named Pony.
The video game the boys play in their room is Super Mario Bros. 3 for the 8-Bit Nintendo NES System. Similarly, the box for this system appears in the boys' closet later in the film.
Hammer wears a Metallica shirt and puts up stickers of the different Metallica albums in the phone booth.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Man Suing Jail for Making Him Slightly Less Obese
No, seriously.
Broderick Lloyd Laswell is in prison in Arkansas awaiting his murder trial, and he is so hungry he could beat and kill a man... and then set his house on fire. Once a healthy and filled out 413 pounds, B has since withered to an almost skeletal 308 pounds. How could you not want to feed a face like this?
Broderick Lloyd Laswell is in prison in Arkansas awaiting his murder trial, and he is so hungry he could beat and kill a man... and then set his house on fire. Once a healthy and filled out 413 pounds, B has since withered to an almost skeletal 308 pounds. How could you not want to feed a face like this?
Anyway, the 20 year old says he is only receiving 3,000 calories a day. Or, roughly, 50% more than a human adult requires to live.
When asked to explain what was happening, B said,
"On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out," Laswell wrote in his complaint. "About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again."
Now, if you are a great big fat person, and try to exercise, I do believe those symptoms are normal. But if you are cut from marble and statuesque, as B was before being cruelly and unusually punished in this prison-like "jail" place, something is clearly awry. My dear martyr, do go on:
"If we are in a small pod all day (and) do next to nothing for physical exercise, we should not lose weight," the suit says. "The only reason we lost weight in here is because we are literally being starved to death."
He has even resorted to ceasing all physical activity just so that he doesn't literally die. The same way the man he beat and killed died, though I guess at least you can't burn down a jail cell. Can you?
Hang in there my languishing Adonis, I'll eat this cheeseburger for the both of us.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Wednesday One-Liners Never Get Old!
effeminate man: [something about butt sex]
white man: [racially insensitive remark about Asians]
girl in slutty clothes: [something about being a whore]
homeless man, shouting: [something hilariously crazy about the moon or mars or genitals]
tourist: [something ignorant about the workings of times square, or the location of famous landmark]
parent, to child: [rude remarks containing swears, indicating inability to properly raise child]
subway conductor: [sassy instructions about standing clear of closing doors]
barista: [something waaaaay inappropriate to say to a customer]
white man: [racially insensitive remark about Asians]
girl in slutty clothes: [something about being a whore]
homeless man, shouting: [something hilariously crazy about the moon or mars or genitals]
tourist: [something ignorant about the workings of times square, or the location of famous landmark]
parent, to child: [rude remarks containing swears, indicating inability to properly raise child]
subway conductor: [sassy instructions about standing clear of closing doors]
barista: [something waaaaay inappropriate to say to a customer]
Monday, April 21, 2008
Buy Buy Buy!!!
Not to be confused with Bye Bye Bye.
Crocs stock (crocstock?) went down from 17$ to 10$ a week ago when 262 workers were laid off. Time to buy that stock, and buy huge! That's how the stock market works, right? Buy low, sell high? Good. Now pick up your skirt, grab your balls, and let's make some money.
Also, while everyone is using this tragedy to make jokes like the title of that article ("Crocs Prove to be a Bad Idea...Finally"), I would like to take the time to reiterate that crocs are fucking awesome. They're super comfortable and guess what? I don't give a shit what you think about my footwear. Also, lame title, guy(maybe try something hilarious like Buy Buy Buy?). Personally, I prefer CBS's Crocs Shoos Quebec City Plant Workers . And fool.com's title is just weird.
And I don't even get what people's problem with crocs are to begin with... They're ugly. So's you're face but I can just not look at it, same way you can not look at my feet, jerkoff. Wearing them means you're gay. My crocs and all of my accessories for said crocs do nothing but emit masculinity, thank you very much.
Whatever, I'm calling JT Marlin and buying the shit out of crocstock...
Original link via the sugar sheet
Crocs stock (crocstock?) went down from 17$ to 10$ a week ago when 262 workers were laid off. Time to buy that stock, and buy huge! That's how the stock market works, right? Buy low, sell high? Good. Now pick up your skirt, grab your balls, and let's make some money.
Also, while everyone is using this tragedy to make jokes like the title of that article ("Crocs Prove to be a Bad Idea...Finally"), I would like to take the time to reiterate that crocs are fucking awesome. They're super comfortable and guess what? I don't give a shit what you think about my footwear. Also, lame title, guy(maybe try something hilarious like Buy Buy Buy?). Personally, I prefer CBS's Crocs Shoos Quebec City Plant Workers . And fool.com's title is just weird.
And I don't even get what people's problem with crocs are to begin with... They're ugly. So's you're face but I can just not look at it, same way you can not look at my feet, jerkoff. Wearing them means you're gay. My crocs and all of my accessories for said crocs do nothing but emit masculinity, thank you very much.
Whatever, I'm calling JT Marlin and buying the shit out of crocstock...
Original link via the sugar sheet
Thursday, April 17, 2008
So Will There Be Wine and Cheese at the Gallery Opening?
Anyone up for a trip to New Haven for miscarriage art show?
"Beginning next Tuesday, [Aliza] Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.
The goal in creating the art exhibition, Shvarts said, was to spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body. But her project has already provoked more than just debate, inciting, for instance, outcry at a forum for fellow senior art majors held last week. And when told about Shvarts' project, students on both ends of the abortion debate have expressed shock . saying the project does everything from violate moral code to trivialize abortion."
Now I... you see... umm...well the thing is that...
This whole thing gives me the shvarts.
Anyway, the article goes on to say the sperm donors were not paid, but were tested periodically for STDs and such. Nowhere does it mention whether or not they were told what would become of their potential babies - though I guess bloody bath tub mess, inside a sock, what difference does it make? Let's press on.
"I believe strongly that art should be a medium for politics and ideologies, not just a commodity," Shvarts said. "I think that I'm creating a project that lives up to the standard of what art is supposed to be."
Gross?
At least it will be presented in a like, tasteful way. Right?
The display of Shvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Shvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Shvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.
Shvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.
Ok good, I was afraid it would be disgusting.
Shvarts emphasized that she is not ashamed of her exhibition, and she has become increasingly comfortable discussing her miscarriage experiences with her peers.
"It was a private and personal endeavor, but also a transparent one for the most part," Shvarts said. "This isn't something I've been hiding."
I.am.so.with.you.
Just name the time and the place...
The official reception for the Undergraduate Senior Art Show will be from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on April 25. The exhibition will be on public display from April 22 to May 1. The art exhibition is set to premiere alongside the projects of other art seniors this Tuesday, April 22 at the gallery of Holcombe T. Green Jr. Hall on Chapel Street.
See you there!
"Beginning next Tuesday, [Aliza] Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.
The goal in creating the art exhibition, Shvarts said, was to spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body. But her project has already provoked more than just debate, inciting, for instance, outcry at a forum for fellow senior art majors held last week. And when told about Shvarts' project, students on both ends of the abortion debate have expressed shock . saying the project does everything from violate moral code to trivialize abortion."
Now I... you see... umm...well the thing is that...
This whole thing gives me the shvarts.
Anyway, the article goes on to say the sperm donors were not paid, but were tested periodically for STDs and such. Nowhere does it mention whether or not they were told what would become of their potential babies - though I guess bloody bath tub mess, inside a sock, what difference does it make? Let's press on.
"I believe strongly that art should be a medium for politics and ideologies, not just a commodity," Shvarts said. "I think that I'm creating a project that lives up to the standard of what art is supposed to be."
Gross?
At least it will be presented in a like, tasteful way. Right?
The display of Shvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Shvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Shvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.
Shvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.
Ok good, I was afraid it would be disgusting.
Shvarts emphasized that she is not ashamed of her exhibition, and she has become increasingly comfortable discussing her miscarriage experiences with her peers.
"It was a private and personal endeavor, but also a transparent one for the most part," Shvarts said. "This isn't something I've been hiding."
I.am.so.with.you.
Just name the time and the place...
The official reception for the Undergraduate Senior Art Show will be from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on April 25. The exhibition will be on public display from April 22 to May 1. The art exhibition is set to premiere alongside the projects of other art seniors this Tuesday, April 22 at the gallery of Holcombe T. Green Jr. Hall on Chapel Street.
See you there!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Hairy Palms, Blindness...Cures Cancer!
Now when you're locked in the bathroom and your mom is knocking on the bathroom door and you're pleading for another minute. You can tell her honestly that what you're actually trying to do in there is: stave off cancer.
"Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest.
They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.
And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men's cancer risk."
Now, I'd sort of like for them to have at least put up pictures and maybe dating history of these "scientists" and "researchers". I mean come on. Sounds more than a little suspicious, no? Like some nerd trying to exact his revenge? Sure, masturbation wards off cancer, but intercourse not so much. That explains why you haven't tried the latter in your like, 45 years of life. "Hey all you sex-having jocks, enjoy your prostate cancer." Well, the jokes on you, nerdlinger! You can do both!
"They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.
The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.
Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life"
Well, there you have it. Now you have a quota to meet to help keep the cancer away. It unfortunately makes no mention on the either positive or negative effects of say... tripling that weekly quota. Maybe it's time for another study. Or maybe have a Handjobs for Cancer-type event.
"Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest.
They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.
And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men's cancer risk."
Now, I'd sort of like for them to have at least put up pictures and maybe dating history of these "scientists" and "researchers". I mean come on. Sounds more than a little suspicious, no? Like some nerd trying to exact his revenge? Sure, masturbation wards off cancer, but intercourse not so much. That explains why you haven't tried the latter in your like, 45 years of life. "Hey all you sex-having jocks, enjoy your prostate cancer." Well, the jokes on you, nerdlinger! You can do both!
"They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.
The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.
Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life"
Well, there you have it. Now you have a quota to meet to help keep the cancer away. It unfortunately makes no mention on the either positive or negative effects of say... tripling that weekly quota. Maybe it's time for another study. Or maybe have a Handjobs for Cancer-type event.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
What.An.A$$hole!
Please keep your eyes on Sean Avery, the asshole in front of the Devils' net waving his arms around like a little kid who doesn't understand the rules of the game.
"That's just something you don't do. It's kind of bush league. Hopefully it's the last we see of it."
Now, I hate the Rangers, and really hate Avery - the guy is a notorious douche. He dated Elisha Cuthbert but was somehow too stupid to lock that down. Anyway, just have a look at what some of the other hockey players had to say:
"It's almost an unwritten rule," Montreal rookie goalie Carey Price said. "It's like when you're a kid in the back seat that's going, 'I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you.' When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I would probably try and get in your bubble like that."
"He's an idiot," Penguins forward Gary Roberts said.
"If they have to change the rule because somebody wants to be unsportsmanlike and deface the game of hockey, I'm all for it," Stars goalie Marty Turco said. "Hopefully, guys understand the integrity of the sport.
"That's just something you don't do. It's kind of bush league. Hopefully it's the last we see of it."
Now here's a better look at what wikipedia is referring to as "The Jackass Rule"
I'd also like to point out that I understand there was nothing in the rule books about what he was doing, so technically he wasn't "breaking any rules". But the reason there was nothing in any rule book is because it is so fucking stupid that no one thought there needed to be a written rule about it. I am wondering if it states anywhere in the rule book that NHL players are required to wear skates.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Man Wins Oyster Eating Competition. Is Probably Really Horny
Patrick Bertoletti won the Acme Oyster Eating Championship in New Orleans on Sunday. He did this by downing 35 dozen oysters in 8 minutes. That's 420 oysters. That's 52.5 oysters a minute.
The article doesn't mention prize money of any sort, it just says that he won a belt in the shape of an oyster, along with a serious case of priaprism.
But in all seriousness, it seems all the talk of slurping up shelled glop to rev your engine might not be entirely true. Or at least it's still kind of a mystery. Still though, if they're going to have a competitive aphrodisiac-downing competition, call me up when it's time for the whiskey chug. And remember the most important rule: no fatties.
And don't think I forgot about you (skinny) ladies, here's a picture of the stud muffin himself, Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti.
The article doesn't mention prize money of any sort, it just says that he won a belt in the shape of an oyster, along with a serious case of priaprism.
But in all seriousness, it seems all the talk of slurping up shelled glop to rev your engine might not be entirely true. Or at least it's still kind of a mystery. Still though, if they're going to have a competitive aphrodisiac-downing competition, call me up when it's time for the whiskey chug. And remember the most important rule: no fatties.
And don't think I forgot about you (skinny) ladies, here's a picture of the stud muffin himself, Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti.
I'm eating oysters just looking at him... if you know what I mean.
Girls who want to be my myspace friend.
Ninetta
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=369922289
About her:
I'm cute, petite, and a lil shy...but with the right person I can be a bit fiesty. Can you say "lil devil in disguise". I love horseback riding, racing, football and did I mention i love to shake that ass(that's dance) for those of you that don't know. But my passion is nursing. I love helping others.
I like football too!! My passion, however, is architecture.
Gloriana
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=369829044
About her:
hmmmm, I'm the girl you wish lived next door. sweet sexy chillen and open minded, a lil freaky on the side...lol I'm a lil bit of everything, there's a time and place for all things. i'm all about dressin hot as hell goin buckwild at the club but sumtimes i just like to put on my lil shorts, tanktop and fuzzy lil slippers and curl up and read a good book. but watch out cuz you never know what i'm thinkin...i might just pounce when the time is right...hahaha but anyway i'm an awesome friend and always lookin to meet new people so if you're down with what i said so far hit me up...no haterz pleeze!!!
I do wish she lived next door. My next door neighbors are assholes.
Estelle
About her:
In the navel? Sweet.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=369922289
About her:
I'm cute, petite, and a lil shy...but with the right person I can be a bit fiesty. Can you say "lil devil in disguise". I love horseback riding, racing, football and did I mention i love to shake that ass(that's dance) for those of you that don't know. But my passion is nursing. I love helping others.
I like football too!! My passion, however, is architecture.
Gloriana
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=369829044
About her:
hmmmm, I'm the girl you wish lived next door. sweet sexy chillen and open minded, a lil freaky on the side...lol I'm a lil bit of everything, there's a time and place for all things. i'm all about dressin hot as hell goin buckwild at the club but sumtimes i just like to put on my lil shorts, tanktop and fuzzy lil slippers and curl up and read a good book. but watch out cuz you never know what i'm thinkin...i might just pounce when the time is right...hahaha but anyway i'm an awesome friend and always lookin to meet new people so if you're down with what i said so far hit me up...no haterz pleeze!!!
I do wish she lived next door. My next door neighbors are assholes.
Estelle
About her:
In the navel? Sweet.
Broken Social Scene's Jason Collett
I don't know to what capacity he was in Broken Social Scene - what he did for them, etc. But his solo stuff is definitely worth checking out. Since that is an entirely inadequate description, take it away, wikipedia:
"Jason Collett is a Canadian singer-songwriter, born in Bramalea, Ontario and attended St. Thomas Aquinas Secondary School. He performs both as a solo artist and as a member of Broken Social Scene."
Well. That was helpfull. Anyway, I guess he had released a number of solo albums prior to any involvement in BSS, but now they're getting a bit more attention. His most recent one, "Here's to Being Here" is really fucking good. I've only heard that one and some of "Idols of Exile" but everything I've heard I've enjoyed.
Out of Time
"Jason Collett is a Canadian singer-songwriter, born in Bramalea, Ontario and attended St. Thomas Aquinas Secondary School. He performs both as a solo artist and as a member of Broken Social Scene."
Well. That was helpfull. Anyway, I guess he had released a number of solo albums prior to any involvement in BSS, but now they're getting a bit more attention. His most recent one, "Here's to Being Here" is really fucking good. I've only heard that one and some of "Idols of Exile" but everything I've heard I've enjoyed.
Out of Time
I'll Bring the Sun
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Thoughts on the Mets/Brewers Series
So as I sit here watching Jorge Sosa continue the suck-fest that Ollie Perez started, I thought I'd map out some of the thoughts that drifted into my head as I've watched the series.
-I am hoping someone will officially give Nelson Figuero the nickname "Chinless Wonder"
- Corey Hart. Not as studly as his name would seem to imply.
-Brewers old uniforms > Brewers new uniforms.
- 9 to 7 Brewers. RBI single by Damion Easley.
Can you guess which one is Heilman?
- Corey Hart. Not as studly as his name would seem to imply.
- Jason Kendall. Also not very easy on the eyes.
-The Brewers bat their pitcher 8th, with Kendall - their catcher- batting 9th. I have yet to hear this explained. Here's my problem - the lower you have a guy in the order, the fewer at bats he's going to see over the course of a year. So this means Brewer pitchers will bat more times than Jason Kendall. From what I've seen thus far from Kendall, this makes zero sense.
-Right now there is a child singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" He is not singing it very well.
-D. Wright. Still easy on the eyes(and a pimp!).
-Brewers old uniforms > Brewers new uniforms.-Prince Fielder says he became a vegetarian in the off season, which has Brew Crew fans screaming for him to have a cheeseburger since he can't seem to hit a lick so far this season. I'm guessing his vegetarianism doesn't exclude dairy, since he looks like he still really enjoys ice cream.
- 9 to 7 Brewers. RBI single by Damion Easley. - Brian Schneider is up. I don't know what his problem is, exactly, but he dropped the ball or had a passed ball happen like, 8 times so far this game. He's also incredibly vanilla. I miss Paul Lo Duca. Must be something magical about Dook's jersey number (16) because it's the number Pagan wears, and he's been kicking ass all season. and obviously someone else pretty decent wore that number for the Metsies way back when...
-Schneider hits into a double play. I think I might hate him. He beat the throw, pretty obviously. But still, take your goalie mask and get the hell out of my face.
-Guillermo Mota up in the Brewers bullpen. Oh please Oh God Oh Please let us face him. I don't care what he did all 'roid'd up for us in '06. He got caught and suspended and we rewarded him with a two year deal... He got off the juice and then proceeded to serve his 50 game ban, and then suck in large and dramatic fashion.
- Here comes Aaron Heilman. Which Aaron will show up today? He's a weird looking guy. I wonder what his voice sounds like. I just pictured him talking like Micky Mouse. I am fairly certain that is not the way he actually speaks. I was going to link to a picture of him, but found a picture I have to put up, because it might be the best thing I've ever seen:
Can you guess which one is Heilman?
-I don't know where to go from there. I have to go.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Not Quite Ready for ABC
First and foremost, I would like to issue a warning. If you are going to do a google image search for "wife swap", please just go ahead make sure your safe search is on...
Moving right along, a Bulgarian man for reals made a wife swap with a friend of his. The only thing is that his friend didn't have a wife so much. It was more like he had a goat.
So the long and the short of the story is that the guys wife was barren, and the goat has had 3 kids[literally, kids!] and so he's going to try his luck with the goat, I think.
"The day before a friend told me that he has had no luck with women and that he really liked my wife," says the 54-year-old. "The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval."
"The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none. "
"So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife."
The article never really specifies whether the guy plans on having sex with the goat or if he is under the impression that he can have kids with the goat, as opposed to another goat impregnating it with more goat babies or what. I'm not sure if this is intentional or if it's more like no one has any idea what this guy is fucking thinking.
The article then goes on to say it's not the first time a person has married an animal and so forth, then gives some examples, with this bit being my favorite:
"Last year, the marriage of a man and a Sudanese goat became the subject of international attention when the story was picked up by the BBC website.
The black and white goat named Rose became an Internet phenomenon after her owner discovered the man, Charles Tombe, copulating with the animal.
In accordance with Sudanese tradition, Mr Tombe was forced to marry Rose and pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars (£25).
Rose has since died after choking on a plastic bag while eating scraps on the streets of Juba. "
I wonder why they felt the need to mention not only that his goat-wife is dead, but also give such specific details about the things death. I can't be the only one who finds that bizarre, right? Also, how does a goat choke on a plastic bag? I've seen goats eat tin cans and ... well I guess mainly tin cans ... but felled by a plastic bag? Have cartoons been lying to us this whole time?
Best Way to Warm Up
David Cone says it made it more difficult to pitch, but I feel like getting jerked off prior to your start would be relaxing.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Oh, You Play Guitar? I'm Pretty Awesome on the Beamz Laser. We Should Jam
So there's a musical product coming out soon that I simply do not understand. Say hello to the Beamz Laser Music System.
my favorite is Quiet Reverie
See what I mean about looking like a jackass? I'd also like to point out that this costs 600 dollars. I will make you look like a jackass for free, if that's what you want. Or 300 dollars if you feel you should pay something. Head over to Gizmodo where they already tore apart the video, and in exchange for ripping it a new anus, were offered to try the product for a review. and be sure to stay tuned for my next post, where I tear apart the iphone! (get it, because then they'd send me one, and the iphone is the thing people say they want when people ask them what is a thing they would want, so that was why I made that joke)
I'm not even sure the point of this thing, aside from maybe making someone with little to no musical talent look like a complete jackass. Here is what Sharper Image says it "does" or whatever.
-Amazing laser-based invention lets music-lovers be musicians — regardless of talent or training!
Breaking the laser beams with your hands automatically generates pre-authored pulses, streams, riffs or loops of musical notes or sounds from hundreds of different instruments — strings, keyboards, woodwinds, brass, percussion, even cow bell.
-Choose a complementary rhythm track from 30 original songs in 19 music genres, including jazz, bluegrass, classical, hip-hop, reggae, heavy metal and more. Or create your own track!
-The beamz system has a "W" shape, with six laser beams spanning the two sections; connect via USB to your PC or laptop, then hook up some speakers and you're ready to play, perform or create great music.
With the beamz, there should be no performance anxiety at all because — whichever beam you break, in whatever sequence — your music is guaranteed to be harmonious. All discordant chords and sour notes have been programmed out so everyone plays great.
-All your original creations and performances can be recorded for playback and sharing.
-Includes software CDs and USB cable for connecting directly to USB port.
So you basically wave your hand through some lasers and the thing plays music for you, is all I really can surmise from all of this. Here is their PR video.
my favorite is Quiet Reverie
See what I mean about looking like a jackass? I'd also like to point out that this costs 600 dollars. I will make you look like a jackass for free, if that's what you want. Or 300 dollars if you feel you should pay something. Head over to Gizmodo where they already tore apart the video, and in exchange for ripping it a new anus, were offered to try the product for a review. and be sure to stay tuned for my next post, where I tear apart the iphone! (get it, because then they'd send me one, and the iphone is the thing people say they want when people ask them what is a thing they would want, so that was why I made that joke)
Oh Sorry Wrong Number
So I guess pretty recently there was this video going around of this cheerleader getting the ever living hell beat out of her. Apparently she said mean things about other people on her myspace page, and to teach her a lesson, her friends beat the shit out of her. Have a gander:
I put this one up because some nut added some video of Jesus and stuff at the end and it made me chuckle.
So that's what you get when you talk smack on myspace. Anyway, I guess someone left phone numbers on youtube, so angry folks could call the attackers and vent their spleens and such. And so I guess one of the numbers they posted was not exactly correct.
"The couple said they got around 300 angry, abusive calls from all over the country Wednesday."
I've spent the last several minutes wondering exactly how those calls went. I mean, when you get this number on youtube and call it, are you expecting it to be a cellphone? If they're lets say calling one of the girls and a guy answers, do they say "Hi, may please speak with Jenny?" or whatever, or do they just start yelling like lunatics without any sort of verification as to whom they are speaking with. I am I guess more than anything genuinely curious how that sort of furious-and-filled-with-rage type phone call works. As soon as you hear someone pick up do you just go off? Because if people are really that stupid, and I think that might very well be the case, I should start leaving friends phone numbers under violent youtube videos. Remember that guy who hit the baseball into that pitcher's head? What an asshole, am I right? He goes by the name Bohm and his number is [removed].
I put this one up because some nut added some video of Jesus and stuff at the end and it made me chuckle.
So that's what you get when you talk smack on myspace. Anyway, I guess someone left phone numbers on youtube, so angry folks could call the attackers and vent their spleens and such. And so I guess one of the numbers they posted was not exactly correct.
"The couple said they got around 300 angry, abusive calls from all over the country Wednesday."
I've spent the last several minutes wondering exactly how those calls went. I mean, when you get this number on youtube and call it, are you expecting it to be a cellphone? If they're lets say calling one of the girls and a guy answers, do they say "Hi, may please speak with Jenny?" or whatever, or do they just start yelling like lunatics without any sort of verification as to whom they are speaking with. I am I guess more than anything genuinely curious how that sort of furious-and-filled-with-rage type phone call works. As soon as you hear someone pick up do you just go off? Because if people are really that stupid, and I think that might very well be the case, I should start leaving friends phone numbers under violent youtube videos. Remember that guy who hit the baseball into that pitcher's head? What an asshole, am I right? He goes by the name Bohm and his number is [removed].
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Final Home Opener At Shea
So yesterday I took the day off from work and went to Shea Stadium for the very last home opener there. It was pretty awesome to see how far along Citi Field is coming, and even more awesome to think about the prospect of not having to wait at least 15 minutes to go to the bathroom every time you have to take a leak. Seats were great. First base side Field Level between Delgado and Church.
Prior to the game there were ceremonies announcing the players, and retiring the name "Shea" along side the retired numbers, which was kind of a nice gesture, but also kind of didn't make any sense whatsoever. They then unveiled a countdown in the outfield, giving the number of games left to play at the stadium. This would have seemed a bit morbid, were Shea not such a complete and utter shit-hole.
The game started off well enough, Delgado crushed a monster shot to give us an early lead, and we got to witness no less than four fist fights at various times (none close enough to us for me to experience first hand, which was nice, since I'm a huge pussy). Our seats were also about five rows behind Gary Dell'Abate. This was funny for a few minutes, then quickly became old as numerous times throughout the game people were just yelling Baba Booey. Like, a whole lot.
Anyway, the Mets were unable to capitalize on a number of chances, and then handed the game over to their bullpen with only a 2 - 0 lead. As a Mets fan who has had to deal with a bullpen that is inconsistent at its best, there are just certain times when a reliever comes in and you know just absolutely one hundred percent know that you are doomed. When Heilman came into the game yesterday, it was one of those feelings.
Regardless of the outcome of the game, I was pretty excited when the 8th inning rolled around, I did not know when or how long the 8th inning sing-a-long song vote was going to go on for, and was curious to see whether or not they would get rick-rolled. They announced that due to an overwhelmingly large viral campaign, Astley's song won as a write-in, and won by a whole hell of a lot of votes. The Mets had been rick-rolled. At Deadspin, they have up a video of crowd reaction that seems pretty harsh. I'm not sure if it's just the horrendous audio quality of the video, or that whoever is taping this was booing with like, 3 guys around him or what. Or if maybe his section was booing? Down by where I was sitting I didn't really see a reaction one way or the other from anyone. Indifference seemed to be the overall mood of anyone anywhere near where I was, even though I had a good chuckle.
But then in a drastic double you tee eff moment, they announced they'd be playing not just that song, but all of the vote-able songs over the next week or so during the 8th inning, and it seems that whichever gets the loudest cheers will win for the season? I call bullshit, New York Mets. Shame on you. I bet Billy Joel's "Movin' Out" wins. Assholes. You allowed people to write-in, you made your bed. Deal with it.
Also - Professor Reyes is no more :(
They have two new segments: Maine Street USA, and The Wright Way.
Maine Street USA features (you guessed it!) John Maine giving us three clues in the form of street names, and then we name the city. Hilarity did not ensue.
The Wright Way featured an always dashing David Wright telling kids to always wear a helmet. I can't imagine they have 80 more installments of that...
Beer is now 8$ and pretzels are 4$ and hot dogs are 5$. I'm going to be going to another game in a few weeks that I got tickets to for 4.25$ It is more than depressing that the price of the ticket is, while ever so slightly more than a soft pretzel, it is still cheaper than hot dog and almost half as much as one 16 can of Bud Light.
Prior to the game there were ceremonies announcing the players, and retiring the name "Shea" along side the retired numbers, which was kind of a nice gesture, but also kind of didn't make any sense whatsoever. They then unveiled a countdown in the outfield, giving the number of games left to play at the stadium. This would have seemed a bit morbid, were Shea not such a complete and utter shit-hole.
The game started off well enough, Delgado crushed a monster shot to give us an early lead, and we got to witness no less than four fist fights at various times (none close enough to us for me to experience first hand, which was nice, since I'm a huge pussy). Our seats were also about five rows behind Gary Dell'Abate. This was funny for a few minutes, then quickly became old as numerous times throughout the game people were just yelling Baba Booey. Like, a whole lot.
Anyway, the Mets were unable to capitalize on a number of chances, and then handed the game over to their bullpen with only a 2 - 0 lead. As a Mets fan who has had to deal with a bullpen that is inconsistent at its best, there are just certain times when a reliever comes in and you know just absolutely one hundred percent know that you are doomed. When Heilman came into the game yesterday, it was one of those feelings.
Regardless of the outcome of the game, I was pretty excited when the 8th inning rolled around, I did not know when or how long the 8th inning sing-a-long song vote was going to go on for, and was curious to see whether or not they would get rick-rolled. They announced that due to an overwhelmingly large viral campaign, Astley's song won as a write-in, and won by a whole hell of a lot of votes. The Mets had been rick-rolled. At Deadspin, they have up a video of crowd reaction that seems pretty harsh. I'm not sure if it's just the horrendous audio quality of the video, or that whoever is taping this was booing with like, 3 guys around him or what. Or if maybe his section was booing? Down by where I was sitting I didn't really see a reaction one way or the other from anyone. Indifference seemed to be the overall mood of anyone anywhere near where I was, even though I had a good chuckle.
But then in a drastic double you tee eff moment, they announced they'd be playing not just that song, but all of the vote-able songs over the next week or so during the 8th inning, and it seems that whichever gets the loudest cheers will win for the season? I call bullshit, New York Mets. Shame on you. I bet Billy Joel's "Movin' Out" wins. Assholes. You allowed people to write-in, you made your bed. Deal with it.
Also - Professor Reyes is no more :(
They have two new segments: Maine Street USA, and The Wright Way.
Maine Street USA features (you guessed it!) John Maine giving us three clues in the form of street names, and then we name the city. Hilarity did not ensue.
The Wright Way featured an always dashing David Wright telling kids to always wear a helmet. I can't imagine they have 80 more installments of that...
Beer is now 8$ and pretzels are 4$ and hot dogs are 5$. I'm going to be going to another game in a few weeks that I got tickets to for 4.25$ It is more than depressing that the price of the ticket is, while ever so slightly more than a soft pretzel, it is still cheaper than hot dog and almost half as much as one 16 can of Bud Light.
Monday, April 7, 2008
The Flaming Lips
I'm probably not even the most qualified person here to talk about the Flaming Lips - I don't know too much of their earlier music and I'm not huge into their latest releases. I do know, however, that The Soft Bulletin is probably one of my ten favorite albums ever. It is a masterpiece start to finish. A bit of the AMG Review:
"...what's most remarkable about The Soft Bulletin is its humanity — these are Wayne Coyne's most personal and deeply felt songs, as well as the warmest and most giving. No longer hiding behind surreal vignettes about Jesus, zoo animals, and outer space, Coyne pours his heart and soul into each one of these tracks, poignantly exploring love, loss, and the fate of all mankind; highlights like "The Spiderbite Song" and "Feeling Yourself Disintegrate" are so nakedly emotional and transcendentally spiritual that it's impossible not to be moved by their beauty. There's no telling where the Lips will go from here, but it's almost beside the point — not just the best album of 1999, The Soft Bulletin might be the best record of the entire decade. "
While I'm not sure I'd hand it best album of the decade, I would say it was in a three horse race with OK Computer and In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. For me anyway... unless there are other albums I'm forgetting, which there almost certainly are. Anyway, here are a couple of videos from The Soft Bulletin, both of which are excellent. The songs are, anyway. I can't vouch for the videos.
Race for the Prize
Waitin' for a Superman
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate (one of my favorite songs ever - but ignore the video, it's fan made and set to a like, Chris Evans movie or something)
bonus!
Go (by Daniel Johnston) w/Sparklehorse
"...what's most remarkable about The Soft Bulletin is its humanity — these are Wayne Coyne's most personal and deeply felt songs, as well as the warmest and most giving. No longer hiding behind surreal vignettes about Jesus, zoo animals, and outer space, Coyne pours his heart and soul into each one of these tracks, poignantly exploring love, loss, and the fate of all mankind; highlights like "The Spiderbite Song" and "Feeling Yourself Disintegrate" are so nakedly emotional and transcendentally spiritual that it's impossible not to be moved by their beauty. There's no telling where the Lips will go from here, but it's almost beside the point — not just the best album of 1999, The Soft Bulletin might be the best record of the entire decade. "
While I'm not sure I'd hand it best album of the decade, I would say it was in a three horse race with OK Computer and In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. For me anyway... unless there are other albums I'm forgetting, which there almost certainly are. Anyway, here are a couple of videos from The Soft Bulletin, both of which are excellent. The songs are, anyway. I can't vouch for the videos.
Race for the Prize
Waitin' for a Superman
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate (one of my favorite songs ever - but ignore the video, it's fan made and set to a like, Chris Evans movie or something)
bonus!
Go (by Daniel Johnston) w/Sparklehorse
Friday, April 4, 2008
Rick-roll The Mets
So the Mets are letting we the people decide what sing-a-long song is being played during the eighth inning at Shea this year. Some folks over at Digg have proposed the idea of Rick-rolling the Mets. Part of me thinks this is hilarious, and the other part of me knows how quickly the novelty will wear off. Personally I would have preferred some obscure song that's not very sing-a-long-y to win by way of write in, like Masticated Outboard Motors by Frog Eyes or really like, anything by The Olivia Tremor Control. Trying singing along to that, jerks! My only other problem is the amount of info required to be able to tell them what song to play. Why do you want to call me, mlb.com - I already told you what I was wearing (socks, a smile).
Anyway, if you don't know what Rick-rolling is, a definition can be found here.
Anyway, if you don't know what Rick-rolling is, a definition can be found here.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Oldies but Goodies: Kids in the Hall!
Again!
Girl Drink Drunk
Inexperienced Cannibal
Daddy Drank
The Dog For Whom I Feel Nothing
Girl Drink Drunk
Inexperienced Cannibal
Daddy Drank
The Dog For Whom I Feel Nothing
Oldies But Goodies: Rehdogg!
"Why must I cry?" is a question that has been haunting man since he started crying way back when he was first cutting onions or watching Steel Magnolias. Anyway, Rehdogg has been kind enough to try and answer the quandary once and for all.
For more Rehdogg goodness, click here!
For more Rehdogg goodness, click here!
Sometimes Google Image Search Can Be Awesome
And no, I don't mean Lemon Party or Goatse... I was doing a google image search for Trapper Keepers - it doesn't matter why. First off, there were barely any pictures of Trapper Keepers, but more importantly, there was this:
The nerd in me was upset to see a Darth Vader outfit ruined, but the Hello Kitty lover in me couldn't have been more excited!
The nerd in me was upset to see a Darth Vader outfit ruined, but the Hello Kitty lover in me couldn't have been more excited!
Friday is For Fleet Foxes (Even though it's Thursday)
This is music only - no video exists is what I'm told. Anyway, this is a song off their self-titled debut. It's called White Winter Hymnal. It's awesome in a mellow, My Morning Jacket-y, Built to Spill-ish, Zombies-esque sort of way.
I'd also like to add that I wrote the title "Fridays are for Fleet Foxes" thinking today was Friday. fuck.me.running. guhhhhh
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
This gag's got whiskers on it!
you know what they say about Muncie men Fight on, fight on, dear old Muncie. Fight on, hoist the gold and blue. You'll be tattered, torn, and hurten. Once the Munce is done with you. Go... Eagles!
This is the first I'm hearing that Muncie is a real place, and it sounds like it's full of dudes who like to party and refuse to eat cheese.
Guy was drinking till 3am, then woke up in a garbage truck, no idea how he got there and refused to tell the police who his drinking buddies were. That's just how they roll in Muncie, I guess.
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