Follow The Leader

December 20th, 1982

[Int - Maternity Ward - Virginia]


Richard Alpert: Hello. I represent a very powerful organization. I'm told there's a boy being born here today. Are you Mr. and Mrs. Wright, and is this your son David?

Mrs. Wright: Yes.. how can we help you?

[Alpert runs out]

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1988, Virginia

[INT - Wright household]


Richard Alpert: Hello David. My name is Richard. I've been told by someone you may be very special. I've got a test I'd like you to take.

[Richard lays out 3 objects. One is a baseball bat, one is some candy, one is a picture of a man choking to death on a cool fall day]

Richard: David, I want you to tell me which one of these has always belonged to you.

David: Ooooh candy! [grabs and eats candy]

Richard storms out of the house.

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2009, Flushing, New York

Ilana: Who plays third base for the Mets?

Frank Lipidus: Uhhh... David Wright?

Bram: Ok, maybe he's a candidate.

Frank: For what?

Bram knocks Frank unconscious.


Ilana: Richard, who plays third base for the Mets?

Richard (in Latin): He who will save us all.

Ilana: We have something to show you.
Ilana opens crate to reveal....

Steve Phillips: Hi! You know Richard, I know you've been looking at this David Wright kid for a long time. I'm just not sure he's got the mental toughness to be a leader yet. It seems like maybe he's got some humps to get over and I'm not sure he'll ever get there. He just seems to lack a killer instinct and a locker room presence that a team leader needs to have. He lacks the heart and grit of say a David Eckstein. That's the type of guy who comes to a team and just wins. I also think this team should trade Carlos Beltran, and I'm certain that the holocaust never happened. What do you think, Joe?


To be honest with you Steve I haven't seen enough one way or the other to comment on whether or not the holocaust actually happened. I also haven't seen enough of Wright to say one way or the other whether his heart is truly in it and if he can be the leader of this ballclub. That being said I think this year he is the Mets MVP, hands down, without a doubt.




Entirety of people on the island: JULIET, DO THE DAMN THING NOW!!!!



See you all in an alternate future where we don't have to listen to moronic assholes say stupid things about your team!